Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Volunteer (11/23/06)
A brilliant blinding light with sharp edges on each ray exploded my mind. I heard someone scream. Who was it? I seemed to be in a tunnel that suspended me, where? Our daughter was crying uncontrollably. I needed to comfort her – a mother should comfort her child but I can’t find her. Then blessed nothingness enveloped me.
Consciousness seeps into the blackness and I am speaking. I won’t forsake God. He is good. He is good in even dark times. I want to believe that fact but I am angry. I am so angry that I can’t speak or pray.
Why, God? Why? Our only son? Why? Panic wells up and I block the reality by reading scriptures. An unexplainable peace entwines my sorrow but doesn’t remove the horrid pain. Why God? Why us? WHY? Why him?
I cry what must be an ocean of tears. All day and night my cheeks are wet. Will this agony ever cease?
Working helps me pretend it didn’t happen. But I get slurped into this pit of unbelievable unrelenting pain.
Look, Jesus. Are You listening? I said I would be Your follower but I didn’t volunteer to give my son.
Give my son? Wait. Did I say that? Give my son?
Lord, I am humbled. You gave your Son. Now I know what you must have felt.
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