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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Volunteer (11/23/06)

TITLE: Why?
By
11/28/06


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When I opened the door I knew. Before the state trooper could speak I knew. I stepped back to protect myself, but his words came anyway. ďThere has been an accident. Iím sorry but your son was killed.Ē
A brilliant blinding light with sharp edges on each ray exploded my mind. I heard someone scream. Who was it? I seemed to be in a tunnel that suspended me, where? Our daughter was crying uncontrollably. I needed to comfort her Ė a mother should comfort her child but I canít find her. Then blessed nothingness enveloped me.
Consciousness seeps into the blackness and I am speaking. I wonít forsake God. He is good. He is good in even dark times. I want to believe that fact but I am angry. I am so angry that I canít speak or pray.
Why, God? Why? Our only son? Why? Panic wells up and I block the reality by reading scriptures. An unexplainable peace entwines my sorrow but doesnít remove the horrid pain. Why God? Why us? WHY? Why him?
I cry what must be an ocean of tears. All day and night my cheeks are wet. Will this agony ever cease?
Working helps me pretend it didnít happen. But I get slurped into this pit of unbelievable unrelenting pain.
Look, Jesus. Are You listening? I said I would be Your follower but I didnít volunteer to give my son.
Give my son? Wait. Did I say that? Give my son?
Lord, I am humbled. You gave your Son. Now I know what you must have felt.


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This article has been read 657 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 12/01/06
This is painful to read, but so authentic. The agony is completely palpable. This must have been excrutiating to write. Masterful.
Cheri Hardaway 12/04/06
The suffering in this piece brings home the suffering He volunteered to go through on our behalf. Excellent way to drive the point home.

Blessings, Cheri