Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Volunteer (11/23/06)

TITLE: A Long Tale
By Corinne Smelker
11/28/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“You realize this mission is dangerous? This is not for the faint of heart and weak of stomach. Others before you have gone into the fray and lost their lives, leaving behind mourning spouses and orphaned children. If you still want to volunteer for this mission, step forward!”
In one accord they all took a step forward. General Villus surveyed the troops with well- evidenced pride. He turned to Lieutenant Cavia and nodded slightly. “There's nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer.”
“Colonel Doolittle said that sir,” Cavia offered.
“What?”
“Before the attack on Japan, sir in 1942, Doolittle is said to have said that, sir.”
“Well, harrumph –that as may be my boy, but let’s get these volunteers ready for the task ahead.”
“Yes, sir.” Cavia stood in front of the rank and inspected them closely. Some twitched in nervousness, but all carried a façade of bravado and derring-do.

A squeak from the back of the platoon caught Cavia’s attention. “Yes private what is it?” he asked not unkindly. He remembered all too well those knee-knocking days, those days of not knowing, those days of wondering whether you would come back with all limbs intact, or whether you would lose ‘important bits’ before returning to bask in the sweet glory of victory.
“Um, sir, if you please sir…” there was a pause as the young private swallowed his fear, and voiced the question that was on everyone’s lips, “Is it true that if we return victorious there’ll be a huge feast, just for us? And that we can have all the ladies we want? Only you see, our Daphne, she won’t take too kindly to another gal trying to kiss me, and…” Laughter was ringing out, forcing the private to again come to a halt. Cavia smiled, “Private, Private Stilton, is it? No need to worry fella-me-lad. You can tell them to lay off, and they will!” There was a slight sigh of relief from Private Stilton who had faced the wrath of Daphne before and was not looking for a second round.

“All right everyone! Battle Stations! You know what to do!” General Villus announced. There was a sudden scurrying and scampering as the platoon readied itself. “OK, the restaurant is closed! And I have it on good authority that Gaston had to be sent to the vet tonight, but that means there might be more mousetraps. Remember your training! Divide and conquer, bring back all the cheese, crackers and other tidbits you can find. Remember – the colony is counting on you tonight!” Villi watched fondly as the last tail disappeared down the mouse-hole, wondering how many of his faithful food volunteers would return this night.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1112 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 11/30/06
Clever! You fooled me right to the end. I like it!
Jan Ackerson 12/01/06
Clever!

Just idle curiosity--how can a mouse's knees knock?

I love the pun in your title.
Joanne Sher 12/01/06
So clever! I also didn't get it until the end. Your title is purrfect (LOL sorry!). Great dialogue too.
Cheri Hardaway 12/04/06
Very clever. I enjoyed reading this piece.

Some spacing between dialogue would make it a bit easier on the eyes as one reads. And I was left wanting to know more about Daphne.

Blessings, Cheri