The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoyed your story. You made some spelling & punctuation errors though. I would suggest you read your work over carefully before submitting & use a spell check if you have one.
11/30/06
I really enjoyed this story! Great dialogue--though the way Harry talks sounds unusually grown up and formal for a young boy.

Beautiful and moving descriptions of all the characters and their actions--I could see the grandma with her shopping cart and hear her talking (very different speaking style from her grandson).

I did not realize at first just how destitute these characters were--finding that out really moved me, especially in light of their own selflessness and enjoyment of life!
12/03/06
I thought the child was older at first too but it didn't disrupt the story for me to learn he was younger later. My son is seven and talks like this all the time. He sat down with my friend tonight while I went to get him a drink at Chuck E. Cheeses. She said he looked at her and says, "So, how are you doing this evening!" LOL I too was overwhelmed by how bad off the boy and his grandmother were and yet he still volunteered. Good stuff here!
I really enjoyed this, especially the ending. :)
Very sweet story. Couple of minor typos, but otherwise well written. I like it!
12/04/06
Very sweet story, but needs editing (as others have mentioned).
12/04/06
So heartwarming. What a testimony to a volunteer's heart. You never expect one who is so in need to be the giver. Great characterization too.
12/04/06
I love heartwarming stories like this--strength in adversity. Nice!
12/04/06
We can never tell just from outward appearances what the situation of a person is, can we? You brought that truth to light in a very effective way.
12/04/06
So well written! beautifully done - made me boo hoo at the end and wished for more story so they could be helped. Nice job.
12/05/06
Very, very nice. This one warmed my heart for sure. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely story.
I found this a moving poignant tale ... Thank you for writing it.
12/05/06
Ooh, this is the 2nd time I've read this. Loved it just as much, if not more this time. Great job!
12/06/06
Oh, this was great. I really enjoyed it. I could see everything happening as I read.
12/06/06
A great read. Good job. :)
I read this once before, but didn't have time to write a comment ( on my teacher's 5 minute break!)I loved it the 2nd time too! The image of the boy and his mema living in the cold broke my heart. Do you think readers thought that mema was a mispelling for mama? Being from the south, I knew it was a name children call their grandmother. I couldn't find any mispelled words, so maybe that's why there were comments about a spelling error?! Wonderfully written.
12/07/06
Heartwarming! And I love the title. Blessings, Cheri