What can I say to explain exactly how this went down?
Eighteen months had passed since the day we’d placed the golden bond(age) of eternity on each other’s finger, and we were looking for a new thrill. Having already experienced the wedding excitement, the bedroom excitement, and the settling into a home together excitement, there was now only one thing left to taste and see: a baby.
Still embedded in marital bliss, we lay on the sofa at night wrapped in each other’s arms. We had it so good; we were so in love, and what better way to complete our undying love with than a baby! We talked together on and off for months about how great it would be to have a little “mini-us” to adore and nurture, but in spite of all of our fantasies, God wouldn’t give us the go-ahead to turn them into reality.
Pregnant women and babies popped up everywhere. Burp blankets, tiny shoes, frilly dresses, and pastel colors crowded the senses. I knew that all of these things were signs from God that it was time to propagate the family name, but darn it, He wouldn't agree. All we needed was a lift of the finger, a nod of the head, but no...
My new husband was convinced that in order to obey God immediately when the time came, we should practice furiously in preparation, and being the good, submissive, Proverbs 31 wife I was, I obeyed with a joyful heart.
I took to opening my Bible regularly with closed eyes and a pointed finger, but even Bible roulette wouldn’t declare the obvious. I hung around the prophetic speakers that visited our church, waiting for a declaration of impending parenthood. I wrote God letters explaining why he was wrong to make us wait, but for some reason he wasn’t impressed by my powers of persuasion.
Begging prayers didn't have much effect either. There was a rumor going around that if you were in enough pain (think self-inflicted purgatory), God would have pity on you and grant your request. Let's just say that didn't work either, but so you know, the best part of fasting is the stuffing to overload part when it's over.
God ended up speaking a few months later in a way we had not expected, and there I was thinking we’d covered all the bases. It was so simple, so obvious, so free of all of OUR efforts. We were at church - I was up at the front with the worship team, and my husband was at the back. One of the church leaders got up to share what he thought God was saying to our church. I have no recollection of what he said except for the last few words:
“If God is telling you to do something, DO IT!”
In that moment, I lifted up my eyes and threw them across the room to my husband with a smile. He smiled back. We both knew exactly what God was saying.
So we went home.
And we did it.
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