The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Cute take on the reality games on tv these days, but I was confused about how many bags were opened - three? or more? Overall, I like the idea.
Very funny, although I also found the rules a little confusing - lucky I wasn't playing LOL! Good message at the end. Very creative piece.
Great spin off from one of may favorite shows! I loved the ending - loved how you described your action- kept it moving along - not boring at all! And you wrapped it up with a good ending. Very nice job!:)
You kept my interest from beginning to end. Very good writing. Loved the concept. God bless.
This piece was great fun. You really caught me by surprise at the end -- I guess I was expecting the perfect baby to show up somewhere. I should have known better! LOL.
Wow. Talk about creative. Great way to say that we definitely need to be prepared for anything and we actually don't have control (though, as parents, we like to think we do!) Love the way you tied our Heavenly Father, as the greatest parent, in at the end. Thanks for this.
Very clever--I love the way you substituted characteristics for the "cash", and I positively grinned at "picks dandelions for mom."
Clever and cute! I also found the rules a bit confusing - but, then again, I've never actually watched shows like that - so maybe it's normal LOL. Still, it was definitely clever! Loved the ending too!
I haven't seen the original show either, but it's almost as if I could see it happening before my eyes. Loved that there was no perfect child. Good work.
Cute! A very fun read. I loved the ending and Marie was a very delightful character. Good job!
Deal or No Deal is one of my favorite game shows. I loved how you substituted the midwife for the banker and the line about dandelions to indicate a bag 'on the right side of the board'. :) It made me picture all the times that my own kids have done that for me.

My only criticism would be about the ending. I know others have said they really loved it, but to me, it just didn't fit. You took a light hearted piece and stuck a message onto it, which can be a good way to get a point across.

The complaint comes in with the fact that you have the mom making the point. I just don't see that the person playing the game would be the right one to say they knew it was in vain. Maybe it would have been better for the midwife or Tommy to give us the message?

Although it took me a lot of words to say all that, it really is a small comment on a great entry that made me laugh. Very creative and fun. :)
As a fan of Deal or No Deal, I found myself smiling throughout this delightful and creative piece. Well done!
This one definitely had appeal for me! This is one of my favorite shows, too and your version of it was very enjoyable! I smiled and laughed through the whole thing. Excellent. Thanks for sharing this. !
How cute! I felt like an audience member holding my breath--waiting as each bag was opened. Very, very creative approach--nice job!