The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 667 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/23/06
I can relate, as I lost my first child, too. My then-husband wasn't very helpful, though. This is well written, but the change in POV from the husband to the nurses was a bit confusing. Perhaps he could have overhead them? You covered a delicate subject with compassion.
11/24/06
I liked the showing part of the emotion - when he moved a strand of her hair. I like the gentle way you showed her emotions and his attempt to console. The ending was a little weak I think but overall your writing is strong and draws the reader in:) tough subject to write on - but you did great!
11/25/06
Sad. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. I could see the pain of the woman. Maybe a bit more of the pain of the man? I think this was a good read.
11/25/06
Very well written and it portrays a reality that many try to hide. Read "In the Palm of My Hand" in this section.....deals with the same issue....sounds like the two of you may have similar circumstances.
11/29/06
It was so touching to see the husband reach out to the wife in their grief - sometimes people turn away to grieve alone. Very moving story.