The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 780 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/17/06
I was too into Jason to jump into Jonathon like that, but the ideas are great! With more information and "story" seperating the two, it will be a terrific story. The Bible passage accompanying Jonathon's "rescue" was perfect.
11/20/06
I loved this story! The short, terse sentences fit the mood of anxiety and pain experienced by the main character, and the descriptions were beautifully vivid--I felt right there in the scene.

I also enjoyed the transition from the lifeguard's point of view to his brother's--the contrasting perspective which shows that for the brother, this story's ending is a joyful one!