The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/17/06
This looks like the start of a great story! I can see it being Christian teen fiction as well as adult fiction. I was rght there!
11/18/06
This was a fun story. I caught a few grammar/usage problems, but the story was quite sound. I could definitely see this expanded into a longer piece. A good read!
11/20/06
Delightful story! I could see and hear the two teenage girls--their dialog sounded authentic. Great twist in having the uninterested one noticed by the lifeguard. I saw only one typo(?),"bite" in one place where it should have been "bit." Great job!
11/20/06
What I liked - Good dialogue and action - you made your characters very real. I agree this would be a good teen romance.
What I might change- two typos - wink and smirk - I think they were the words - just drop the 'ed' on them.
I also like the title - that is what drew me in.