The Official Writing Challenge
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11/16/06
What a great way to share a message with subtlety and skill! You handled the POV switches deftly, and painted a very real picture of the scene at the beach. This works well on both levels--both as the story of a woman with heat stroke, and as a cautionary tale.
11/18/06
Beautiful story! I loved the vivid, detailed description and found the story itself haunting. The fact the main character was hallucinating the drowning from heatstroke really took me by surprise! Great twist, as well as a powerful allegorical message.
11/20/06
Well told, a situation few of us consider. Thanks for sharing.
11/21/06
Wow. There are so many powerful entries, this being one of them. At first, I couldn't figure out why the lifeguard could see the people drowning, but then I understood, and realized he DID see them. Great job.
11/21/06
Great description as always, Jen - and such a compelling message! Wonderful writing, friend.
11/21/06
I appreciate the good story with the non-negative ending, the reminder that there are people out there needing saving, and that it is our responsibility to try. Good job.
11/22/06
Very well written. It was a call to action and it was eloquently expressed. Thanks for sharing this.
11/22/06
I think you achieved what you were trying to - a subtle reminder to not sit on our behinds underpinned (the story, not our behinds) by a need to be watchful. Oh, and maybe, we are not alone. A good read. yeggy
11/22/06
This was a beautiful story with a wonderful message. You are right -- we have to do something.
Jen:

This is a woderful story and such a good message. This is just the way I feel sometimes. Wow, some of the best writing I have ever read here on FaithWriters.