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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Lifeguard (11/09/06)

TITLE: Song of the saved
By Melanie Kerr
11/15/06


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Im drowning in a sea of sin
Im drifting far from shore
Ive danced around the boundaries
And dared that one step more

Temptation like the tide has tugged
And drawn me far away
I lack the strength to swim against
The waves that bar my way

Ive flirted with my wickedness
And flaunted bold my sin
Ive proudly claimed I could control
The storm that brewed within

Too late I know my helpless state
That I will surely drown
Guilt like seaweed grasps my feet
And pulls me slowly down

There are no words to plead my cause
Theres no one I can blame
Had I the chance to live again
Id do things just the same

I hear a shout - not far away
Hope flares, a steady light
There is a man wholl rescue me
Who understands my plight

He feels my tears upon his feet
The softness of my hair
Inhales the perfume emptied out
And sees my heart stripped bare

I forgive, His words become
Like ground beneath my feet
Your faith has saved you, go in peace.
Restored, Im made complete

I owed so much, I could not pay
Beneath my burdens drowned
He rescued me and set my feet
On pure and holy ground







Inspired by Luke 7:36-50


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This article has been read 1737 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Monique Fox11/16/06
Please post more of your poems at Poetry and Poets of God: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poetryandpoetsofgod/
Sally Hanan11/18/06
I loved the way you used the story of the prostitute's life as an allegory to drowning. While you spent a lot of time describing her shame, there only seem to be two verses on how different life is for her afterwards, and because of this, it felt a little rushed/unfinished.
Trina Courtenay11/19/06
Nice flow of events.
Julia May11/20/06
Masterfully written. I loved it! In Christ's Love,

Julia
Jan Ackerson 11/21/06
Oh, how lovely! I'm glad you didn't go on any more verses--I think it's perfect as is.
Allison Egley 11/21/06
I liked this. The flow, meter and rhyme scheme were all nearly flawless. Great job.
Marilyn Schnepp 11/21/06
A beautiful, well constructed poem with only one period throughout the entire story. Amazing!
Joanne Sher 11/22/06
This is absolutely lovely - the rhyme and meter are wonderful, as is the message. Great images as well.
Maxx .11/22/06
This was well put together. Loved the flow and pace. Nice job!
Sandra Petersen 11/23/06
I envy people who can capture a message and deliver it so well in perfect meter and rhyme. Beautiful!