The Official Writing Challenge
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11/19/06
You did a wonderful job with the detail - I felt like I was right there with Christy. A creative take on the topic - very compelling story as well - with a lesson for us all.
11/19/06
Great story! I especially liked the 207 steps in the beginning and the 'super size your offering.' Very descriptive and well written. I also liked the play on words with hand up and hand out. Well done! :-)
11/20/06
I loved this story! I could both see and feel with the main character, and the vivid description put me right there in the scene. Great dialog, too! And I loved the message.
11/20/06
This is really quite well written. A real heart tugger. Thanks for sharing.
11/20/06
You definitely know how to give your readers the inside perspective. I love reading what you write. I hope you post your "other" lifeguard story (Winger's story) in regular submissions. That "inside perspective" was so powerful it took my breath away.
11/20/06
Great story--very original!
11/20/06
Great take on the topic. Your words painted pictures in my mind. Great job.
This is your best work yet that I have read. Totally awesome! Great emotion, excellent flow, life-changing lesson...terrific.
11/21/06
A touching story with a really wonderful message. This story also resonates with me because we both referenced the same scripture this week:) Nice work!
11/21/06
This was great. I also loved the "super size" line. I'm glad she'll be getting a hand up instead of a hand out. Woohoo! :)
11/22/06
Val, this was an excellent description of the plight of the desperately poor and homeless. We don't realize often enough that in a few minutes our lives can be irreversibly changed. Very good message.

Just one tiny (maybe it's just me) confusing thing. At the beginning of the story Christy watches her children as they go through the double doors of the school, but then they are with her when she comes to the feast prepared before her at Taco Bell. I'm not sure the time lapse was explained.

But the message of the story rang through, and like I said already your description of the homeless was excellent. Blessings!
I'm adding my "well-done" to all the rest. Very descriptive. Great narration and honesty spoken through your MC. Thanks for this writing.
11/24/06
Finally made it to your story. You've done a great job of saying so much in so few words. I love your characterisation of the mum. Details like: 'hugging her knees to her chest' really made it live for me. Well done. yeggy