The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/18/06
I was SO impressed with how well you wove the "technical description" required for parts of this piece with the story itself. I expected it to be distracting, but it was not in any way. This was VERY engaging and engrossing. I love the content AND format of your last sentence. Bravo!
Had I not read your entry I might not have remembered my own 'drowning moment' during my high school canoe trip. You gripped the situation masterfully; as if you were telling my own story. WOW-this sent chills down my spine. Awesome job!
11/18/06
Very real...made me think back to my moments stuck underneath a white water rafting raft. Powerful testimony!
Powerful entry. I liked the mood and style of the writing. The first paragraph threw me a little, because the first couple of sentences seemed to be almost from the bus's POV, and the 500 count sheet analogy took me a few reads to figure out, hehe, but I loved the description of the piece. I especially liked the formatting of the last line, and the parts in italics. They gave a hint of the unreal slowness and muddledness that comes in a situation like that.
11/19/06
Your descriptions are exquisite. I especially laughed at the line about using the adrenaline 'to your disadvantage' - very effective.

Well done!
11/21/06
Those last 4 words, each in their own line--so simple, and so very powerful!
11/21/06
I loved this line: Canoe paddle now drifting delightedly free of the idiot�s grip down the floating waterway.... I like how you inserted a bit of humor into an otherwise serious piece.
11/22/06
A wonderfully written and touching story. It swept me along with the tide of the tale, and I thank you for sharing this.
11/22/06
A nice touching offering. Thank you for sharing this piece.
11/22/06
dramatic... scary! Very well told. Good work!
11/23/06
I would have been petrified to even attempt rapids, let alone a dam! Great narrative! Your title was clever, and I liked the little descriptive scenes here and there throughout your story.
11/24/06
Certainly had me on the edge of my seat with this story. Loved the way you were able to inject humour into the most scary bits.