The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/17/06
Although some may think the "dream sequence" is overdone, I think you had a really unique take on it, and it worked. I like the idea of Jesus being an orange life jacket. Great job.
We all need to cling to that life jacket!
11/18/06
Definitely a VERY unique take on the topic - I love the dream sequence, as well as the nurse's "availability" to interpret it. This was very compelling from beginning to end.
11/20/06
Loved the last sentence--I wasn't expecting it. Wonderful!
11/20/06
I like this. Easy to follow with great descriptions and it's believeable. Great job. :)
11/20/06
A couple of your descriptive phrases during the dream were a little too wordy for me to follow easily. But I liked the realization that she was coming out of some sort of unconscious situation. Sounded like a sweet nurse.
11/22/06
I stumbled over the beginning just a touch ... but who am I to critique someone about extra words! lol! I'm the champion of doing that! I really liked the ending and the message of teh piece. Well done!
I loved it all. Well done.