The Official Writing Challenge
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Unique story-telling here. I could picture my boys when they were younger and more innocent, talking to their grandma.
11/16/06
Okay, the style really started to annoy me in the beginning, then I got used to it and the storytelling took over and I got wrapped up in the wonderful metaphor of Jesus as his personal lifeguard. When I finally figured out that it was a phone conversation, I had almost forgotten about the style. That last piece of the picture really completed the whole piece. Funny, when I re-read it knowing it was a phone conversation, it wasn't as interesting...so great job of using an intriguing technique to really draw me in, and then doing such a great job showing me this kid's story.
I loved the idea for telling the story from a one-sided phone conversation. The little boy was believable--from a Grandmother who has heard little boys on the phone. Good story!
11/20/06
I loved this story! Original, creative idea in formatting it as a phone conversation between a little boy and his grandma. I could hear the little boy talking--he sounded real. I enjoyed his refreshing way of viewing the world--such as thinking at first the lifeguard was being punished by being made to sit in a chair. Great message, too!
11/25/06
Finally got to it, Steve. I really do love the way you have the boy attacking the conversation and barreling through it - it rings with authenticity. I hope that you keep contributing.

12/22/06
I loved this! Very creative and I like the one sidedness of it. Well done.