The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow, what an experience. And, so well told. Good job holding your readers spellbound, and then leaving them with a sigh of relief and a chuckle at the end. You write very well. I'm impressed.
Your story is well-crafted and enjoyable. It could use some fine-tuning. For example, "timber" should be "timbre" and there are a couple of run-on sentences. You did a great job of revealing just enough at each turn of events to keep us breathless and engaged to the end!
"The sterile white of the walls puffed like clouds in the heavens as I started to go in and out of consciousness."...
This is my favorite line. You had my attention right away. Good work!
You had me right with you through every step. What an experience. I'm basically speechless at the moment.
Wow - scary stuff - but SO well-written! I love the humor at the end - so realistic! What a journey.
Great testimony! Well written! You put us right in the room.
The verbs you used in this article really sizzled! Excellent descriptions, too: "But my arms felt pinned to the table by giants."

A few punctuation and spelling things that were minor compared to the rest of the story. For instance, “She needs a spinal tap, with this fever, we need to check her for meningitis.” could be "She needs a spinal tap. With this fever, we need to check her for meningitis."
"Timber of his voice" is "timbre of his voice." "Dieing"-"dying."

All of that is minor compared to the drama of this whole experience and the masterful way you told it. I'm glad I read this.
What a wonderful story! You told this very well and held my interest through the whole thing. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Riveting story. Told with great description and emotion. Congratuations on your placement in the top 40!