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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Doctor/Nurse (11/02/06)

TITLE: When Dr. Alexander Isn't Enough
By william price
11/08/06


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The physician was in great pain. Dr. Nick Alexander knew he had suffered a compound fracture of the tibia in his right leg. Broken ribs restricted each breath the forty-year-old tried to take. One eye had started to swell shut and his left hand was numb. But, it was the seemingly lifeless body lying next to him that had the doctor’s attention.

In agony, the father tried to crawl closer to his seventeen-year-old son who lay in a heap like a pile of dirty clothes. He could make out his child’s shallow breathing. The doctor’s right hand trembled as he searched for a pulse. He noted it was weak.

Alone on a rocky cliff, fifty feet below where he and his son were climbing a minute before they fell, the doctor tried to muster some composure. The father’s voice was weak and shaken. His words tried to find a sense of authority as they passed by his many broken teeth and bleeding, swollen lips.

“Bobby, son, can you hear me? Hang in there boy. You’re going to be fine.”

Years ago, a younger Nick Alexander used to free-climb the same mountain with his father. The view was still extraordinary, but that didn’t matter now. The vastness of the vista was now an enemy. He needed to see something. He needed help.

Somebody should be looking soon. Rangers know we are up here. So what now, God, wait? I can’t do anything. I have no equipment, no phone, nothing. What am I when I can’t be a doctor?

Guilt seeped into Nick’s thoughts. He had known his son was not an experienced climber. But, the doctor had been up the mountain a hundred times and knew it like the back of his hand. He thought the rock climb would be just the thing to bring them closer. He remembered Bobby’s feigned enthusiasm about the trip, “Sure, Doc, sounds like fun.”

My own son doesn’t even call me dad. He only came on this trip to make me happy. God?

A labored moan refocused Nick’s blurred attention to Bobby.

“Boy.”

Nick reached over to caress his son’s forehead.

“Bobby, wiggle something if you can hear me.”

The father heard air escaping his son’s trembling lips. He inched his body closer to listen.

“Are you saying something, son?”

The boy’s voice was a shallow whisper, no louder than a slow leak from a bicycle tire.

“My…wiggle…isn’t working, D-Doc.”

“Can you tell me anything else, Bobby? Where does it hurt? Can you feel anything?”

The son started to move his lips a little. The dad eased down to listen.

“Just…hold me.”

Nick grimaced as he put his arm around Bobby’s shoulder.

“Not…there…please.”

The father moved his hand up to Bobby’s head.

“Tell me you love me…Doc.”

“I love you, boy. I love you.”

Nick looked up to the sky and then back down at his son.

“Did you hear me, Bobby?”

“Bobby.”

“Bobby!”

The doctor’s hand frantically searched for signs of life. Panic had a stranglehold on his lungs. He couldn’t breath. Fear iced through the father’s veins as he tried to find a pulse on his son’s body.

It can’t be. There has to be one. Dear Father-God, please let me find his heartbeat.

“Yes, I think I feel it. There it is, life.”

The dad was exhausted. Injuries to his own body had taken a toll. Words were spoken in painful gasps.

“Bobby, you stay with me. You…keep breathing. Somebody’s coming. I know it. You’re not dying on this cliff without knowing I love you.”

The doctor was becoming lightheaded, dizzy and his vision was blurred. At first he didn’t recognize the whopping sounds of the helicopter blades above him. But, with a split second of remaining clarity, the father leaned over Bobby’s body to keep the flying dirt and rock dust off of him. Completely depleted of all strength, he finally collapsed on top of his son.

When the doctor opened his eyes he saw an emergency worker securing him to the rescue basket below the helicopter.

“How’s my boy?”

The Ranger had to put his face down by the doctor’s ear and yell.

“Not good, Doc. But, I’ve seen worse make it. Now you relax. We‘re going to lift you up.”

The doctor nodded as he closed his eyes.

“And, doc.”

Nick opened his eyes again as he started to move up.

“You’re son said, ‘Tell my dad I heard him.’”

He said, dad. Thank you, Father.


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This article has been read 1010 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 11/12/06
Great story! You gave us enough about this struggling relationship by being subtle, and then gave us subtle hope at the ending. Masterful writing.
Pat Guy 11/12/06
Okay ... so ... this brought tears to my eyes. Love the ending - after I felt I could breath again! ;) Good work!
Ruth Neilson11/12/06
oh, warm fuzzies! Great job!
Betty Castleberry11/12/06
I was right there with the two of them, and could sense the desperation in the father. This was masterfully written.
Sharlyn Guthrie11/12/06
I loved the emotion in this story, but I also like the hope you gave us at the end, hope for healing of both body and relationship. Excellent writing.
Joanne Sher 11/13/06
William, this was masterfully crafted and intensely suspenseful and amazingly gripping! I definitely held my breath through much of this. You did an exceptional job of charaacterization in such a short piece. I have many favorite lines - this one is going in my favorites!
Val Clark11/15/06
Gripping story. Solid characterisation and sense of place. Realistic relationships between the characters. Loved the hint of hope at the end. yeggy
Dennis Fletcher11/15/06
Great story, kept me intrigued the whole way, well done.
Donna Emery11/15/06
Wow. Goose bumps! A wonderfully written and gripping story. I was very touched by this. Thanks for sharing!
Sara Harricharan 11/15/06
This brought a few tears. Well done and well written, I loved the ending!
Catrina Bradley 11/15/06
My heart is still pounding! Wonderful.
terri tiffany11/15/06
boo hoo!! great story with an ending that got me! I love those kind of stories. Wouldn't change a thing. You did a great job.:)
Lynda Lee Schab 11/15/06
Great title, wonderful story. A litle bit of everything...suspense, drama, and emotional intensity. Excellent story-telling. A+