The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/12/06
Great story! You gave us enough about this struggling relationship by being subtle, and then gave us subtle hope at the ending. Masterful writing.
Pat Guy  
11/12/06
Okay ... so ... this brought tears to my eyes. Love the ending - after I felt I could breath again! ;) Good work!
11/12/06
oh, warm fuzzies! Great job!
11/12/06
I was right there with the two of them, and could sense the desperation in the father. This was masterfully written.
11/12/06
I loved the emotion in this story, but I also like the hope you gave us at the end, hope for healing of both body and relationship. Excellent writing.
11/13/06
William, this was masterfully crafted and intensely suspenseful and amazingly gripping! I definitely held my breath through much of this. You did an exceptional job of charaacterization in such a short piece. I have many favorite lines - this one is going in my favorites!
11/15/06
Gripping story. Solid characterisation and sense of place. Realistic relationships between the characters. Loved the hint of hope at the end. yeggy
11/15/06
Great story, kept me intrigued the whole way, well done.
11/15/06
Wow. Goose bumps! A wonderfully written and gripping story. I was very touched by this. Thanks for sharing!
11/15/06
This brought a few tears. Well done and well written, I loved the ending!
11/15/06
My heart is still pounding! Wonderful.
11/15/06
boo hoo!! great story with an ending that got me! I love those kind of stories. Wouldn't change a thing. You did a great job.:)
11/15/06
Great title, wonderful story. A litle bit of everything...suspense, drama, and emotional intensity. Excellent story-telling. A+