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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Doctor/Nurse (11/02/06)

TITLE: But, I don’t wanna go!
By Shari Armstrong
11/07/06


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“But, I don’t wanna go. All they do is poke and prod me.”

“I know, dear, but sometimes we need to go.”

He sighed. “But, if God can heal, why should I bother?”

“Sometimes God uses doctors. Luke was a doctor and He was one of Jesus’ twelve. You know that.”

He crossed his arms and pouted. “I know, I know. I just don’t have to like it.”

“Nobody likes being sick. I’ll go warm up the car and be back to get you.” She kissed his forehead. “Be ready when I get back. Your shoes are right there.”

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

His voice followed her down the hallway, “I’m feeling better. Really. This is just silly.”

“We’re going anyway,” She called back as she closed the door to the garage.

* * *


He eased himself up on the exam table, and waited for the doctor. Surprisingly, the doctor entered almost as soon as we did.

“Hello, doctor.” She took a seat in the corner.

“So, how are we today?”

"We? Don’t know about you, but I’m doing fine. But, she won’t believe me.”

The doctor began checking lungs and heart. “Breath.” He moved to another spot on the back. “Again.”

“Well?” He looked expectantly at the doctor.

"Well, I’m not sure.” He grabbed a pad off his desk. “Go down the hall to 137 and give them this slip. I want to run a couple tests. Just an EKG and a CAT. Come back here when they finish”

She offered up a silent prayer. “Is there anything wrong?”

The doctor shook his head. “I just want to confirm something.”

* * *


They sat in the room, praying quietly together. A soft knocking on the door interrupted them.

“Well, I have your results.” The doctor sat on the stool and wheeled over closer to the couple. “Based on what I’m seeing here, it’s almost as if nothing were ever wrong with your heart.”

“Really?” She let out the breath she’d been holding.

He simply smiled at his wife. “See? I told you I was fine.”

“Mr. Johnson, I have no idea what happened. There is no sign of the heart attack at all. It’s as if your heart healed itself. I want to see you again in a month, just to check again.”

The couple exchanged a knowing glance as they left the room.

“See? I didn’t need to come.”

“Yes, you did.”

"Why? I’m all better.”

“Yes, you are. But now God’s given your doctor proof He exists. Now God can work on healing his heart, too.”


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This article has been read 967 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Amy Michelle Wiley 11/11/06
Awww, sweet ending. Good job!
Jan Ackerson 11/12/06
The last sentence really made the whole piece for me.

Did you mean "breathe" instead of "breath?"

Loved these characters, you were able to give them distinct personalities in very few words. Awesome.
Shari Armstrong 11/12/06
Now that hinting's open, Amy noticed a POV shift, too (I'd changed from 1st person and didn't catch them all lol). Yup -should have been breathe - sigh
Pat Guy 11/12/06
Wow! What an account of God at work as the Great Physician!

Really good dialogue, emotion and characterization.

Great stuff!
Ruth Neilson11/12/06
I was confused at the beginning. The opening dialog read more like a mother and child, not a husband and wif conversing. But that's just me and I haven't had any experience in those conversations.
Other than that, great job.
Joanne Sher 11/13/06
What a great story of the Great Physician! I also agree that the conversation at the top felt like a kid and his mom, but it didn't take away from the wonderful message of this story.
Shari Armstrong 11/13/06
I don't usually leave this many comments on my entries -but sinc e more than one person mentioned it - I had the beginning conversation that way on purpose. Partly to try to have a little "twist" at the end, but also most men are big kids when it comes to going to the Dr ;)
David Story11/13/06
Very nice. Thanks.
And I agree...getting 'us husbands' to the doctor can be like pulling teeth!
Betty Castleberry11/14/06
Miracles still occur, don't they? I like the tone of this piece. It sounds typically like a husband might react. Good work!