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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Doctor/Nurse (11/02/06)

TITLE: Dr. Simmons' Diagnosis
By Laurie Glass
11/02/06


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I知 dialing to get the help I need,
I知 nervous thinking where this call may lead.

Okay, here goes, 555-5613,
I値l hold out hope that there is aid for me.

Good morning, Clinic Where We Handle All,
I知 Courtney, how may I direct your call?

I知 not myself and I don稚 understand,
My symptoms worse than when they first began.

I値l let you speak with Dr. Simmons nurse,
And she値l review your ailments with you first.

I feel so sick, I don稚 know what to do,
Warm, sweaty palms, and legs that turn to goo.

Heart fluttering, a mouth that痴 always dry,
Can稚 settle down no matter what I try.

So glad you called, it seems you have it bad,
I値l look and see what openings we have.

Yes, he can see you on the tenth at three.
That痴 fine, and what a great relief to me.

Day comes, I知 weak and wobbly in the knees,
Oh Dr. Simmons, will you help me please?

I知 strangely ill, just why, I can稚 surmise,
And plus, my stomach痴 filled with butterflies.

Can稚 eat, can稚 sleep, can稚 even concentrate,
Afraid of what you値l tell me is my fate.

It痴 common, many times I致e seen the same
I値l ask you just one question, what痴 his name?

It痴 Dan, a dark and handsome one is he,
He痴 great, but what痴 that got to do with me?

You池e lovesick, Shayla, don稚 you understand?
Your symptoms caused by hunky, dreamy Dan.

To help alleviate your many ills,
I値l write prescription for some lovesick pills.


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This article has been read 890 times
Member Comments
Member Date
julie wood11/09/06
I enjoyed the unexpected twist of this poem--the "ailment" being one of "lovesickness." Very cleverly done--I didn't see that coming! Also especially liked the descriptive line about her legs turning to goo.
Anthony David11/10/06
Good rhythm and form. The ending is a little expected though. Keep writing!
Jesus Puppy 11/10/06
Unexpected..? Ha.. I knew what was wrong for the first line of simptoms... good form with it, flowed nicely.. Although that ending was rather sad... poor girl.. ;)
Beth Muehlhausen11/11/06
Oh cute! Love the name of the clinic: Clinic Where We Handle All. Could just see those clinical white coats and clipboards. :-)

Had to wonder how much those lovesick pills cost (and if they were covered by insurance - HA!).

Liked the light twist to this - refreshing!!!

Monique Fox11/13/06
Please post more of your poems at Poetry and Poets of God: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poetryandpoetsofgod/
Marilyn Schnepp 11/14/06
How neat! What a treat! I'm out of my seat, and on my feet...with applause.

At first I thought it should have quotes for the dialogue; but, pondering on it - this could just be your own unique style. Very good! I liked it!
Linda Watson Owen11/14/06
What a cute and enjoyable ditty to give us a chuckle in the midst of a sea of white coat entries! Fun and witty!
david grant11/16/06
A love sick DAVEY for you!

Dawn Dale11/16/06
very cute...I love the lightheartedness of this, today. thanks, Laurie...I so need some light moments and I tend to forget that. this was just what the dr. ordered!
Edy T Johnson 11/16/06
This is delightful, Laurie! I agree with the comment that it is fun to find a light-hearted piece of writing in the WC mix. You did a good job, here.
Ann FitzHenry11/18/06
Hahaha! I really loved this, Laurie. Your last several poems have been absolutely brilliant. Great work!
Pat Guy 11/19/06
How did I miss this one? What a delight to readwith a few chuckles along the way!

And so creative.

Well done Laurie! ;)