The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/02/06
Wow! I loved the story line, and with so few words you did it justice. I wish you had more words to create smoother transitions.

I loved being caught up it the moments of victory.
I read this story twice, and was awed both times. It is a powerful read. Well done.
11/03/06
Wow -good stuff! I could definitely see this expanded.
11/04/06
Oh wow. Such amazing description and tone here. This kept me intrigued from beginning to end, and sent chills up my spine. Well done!
11/06/06
Yowsers! This was top-notch stuff! Way to stand your readers on their collective heads!
A very strong piece of writing. The tension was ... er ... taut, I suppose. The whole atmosphere chilling and unsettling. I've read many attempts to describe such spiritual confrontations, but few have come as close as capturing the meance and hostility. Compelling writing. Extremely well done!
Gripping and intense...great character portrayals. I could "feel" this story!! Lots of layers here - lots to think about. I, too, would love to see it expanded. :-)
11/08/06
Wow! Master's, indeed! It was gripping. I didn't see it coming. Very creative. How refreshing. Something I hadn't seen yet. Making the teacher the enemy. So well done and very deserving of an award. You did it masterfully without heavy dialogue or description to cut the tension. Well done. Thanks for the "brick" that encouraged me to read this.
11/08/06
I felt like I was reading Frank Peretti! (That's a compliment :) ). He's got some competition if you continue in this vein. Great stuff.
11/08/06
WOW! This was amazing! I was a little confused as to how they got outside, where Milaya suggests they go out, but you didn't show that they really did go out, and then the teacher is drawing in the sand. Otherwise, this was a thrilling read! :) Quill's off to you!
11/08/06
Wow! A powerful story, and it was very well written. A wonderful description and a compelling read. Thanks for sharing this.
11/08/06
Awesome.. the student becomes the teacher. Well done story. You caught me again.
11/08/06
Yikes! You made shivers run up and down my back! This was fantastic. Well done.
11/08/06
A very compelling read. Well done. Just one question: 'Her gaze was down and vacant.' How can the POV character see her vacant gaze if she can't see her eyes?
Technically, this was very good.It kept me interested... It was really different for me ,though.

Good job. You did very well with the theme considering the stipulations.