The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/02/06
Very good. I liked how you took an empty "successful" man and let a child touch him.
11/04/06
Oh, how awesome is this? Fabulous descripion and atmosphere - a perfect scene for this amazing transformation. I really didn't know where this was going, and definitely enjoyed being "along for the ride!"
Beautifully written. The only place I had a problem was when you went from saying his parents were proud of him for getting married to the jump of two wives. It was a little hard to follow for a second. Otherwise, wonderful story and I loved how the little girl stared into his eyes when she thanked Jesus for the snow. :)
Love this...a great lesson. My favorite line sums it up: "The child had become a teacher: the teacher was becoming a child."