The Official Writing Challenge
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10/26/06
Lovely piece - held me to the end. This line (and the last) were especially great: "I locked eyes with the missionary in the mirror and smiled."
One small detail that hit my eye - I'd move "in a flurry of lace" a little closer to the subject - it reads like the bridegroom is the one in lace. Just nit-picking cause this is well-done in any case.
This is beautiful. I felt like I could see right into your heart as I was reading. What a gift you have!
10/27/06
A lovely, lovely tale. Expertly written, developed and expressed. The second to last paragraph is one of the best I have read in a long while. This is the type of story you feel comfortable reading because you know you are in the hands of a master. Beyond, well done. God bless.
I've never been a missionary, but you certainly made me understand "losing myself." I'm assuming part of the message here is that in the end, she actually found herself. Very well done, and a good read.
10/29/06
I loved the comparison of the "sayings'. Beautiful work!
10/29/06
Such a lovely story and so very nicely written. You conveyed her emotions so beautifully: "I am fading away...If we stay here, I will disappear." I also loved the image of "...her chocolate arms intertwining with my pale ones." The conclusion really pulled this piece together. Great job!
10/29/06
Oh, this was so lovely. I truly loved reading this. Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful story of God's grace and serendipity.
10/29/06
Masterfully written, capturing my emotions from the beginning. I love your way with words -- so descriptive, so poetic, so powerful. One sentence that frames mankind's dilemna: "My vaulted and chained spirit locked out God’s reply." God is speaking just as He did to this precious woman. We just need to unlock our "chained spirit" and listen to God's reply! Awesome work -- your gift is so obvious, Jan. You're an incredible writer!
10/29/06
Awesome ...
10/30/06
You have such a wonderful way with prose. Your words always flow like honey on the page. You drew me in, connected me to your character and held me captive til the end. Beautifully written.
10/30/06
Wow! I loved the images toward the conclusion of the piece. The two women, the comparisons, and the realization that she was now a missionary. Beautifully done!
11/01/06
I think this is one of my favorites of yours so far. It's exquisitely lovely.
11/01/06
I loved the imagery, every sense explored... well-written, as always.
11/01/06
Lovely, thank you for sharing.
11/01/06
This is a very realistic-you-are-there feeling that came across in this piece. Amazing writing. I could identify with the emotions and thoughts. Good job!
So picturesque! Eloquently done. This piece flows beautifully. One of my favorite pieces out of all of ours that I have read.
I found myself relating to her in many ways and loved that you left her new home unnamed. :)
11/01/06
I really enjoyed this story.
11/03/06
The depth and beauty of your writing moved me. A DAVEY for you! Thank you for this lovely work of art.
I just happened across this story as I was browsing around. Wonderful job!