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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Missionary (10/19/06)

TITLE: "Amma, where are you?"
By
10/21/06


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“Amma, where are you?”




Cold. Still. Silent.

A dreaded moment.
Time stands still.
A dreadful moment, etched forever in my heart.
My numbed mind unable to grope for answers.
My heart forcefully torn, irreparable, inconsolable.

Eternity enlarged.
Angel’s wings carry my treasure to heaven.
Danny boy is gone … empty arms and empty heart.

“O God, how can I go on?”


I coerce my mind to depart the tyranny of memory only to find it turn the page to the next chapter.


Cruel, cold grave.
Unspeakable farewell.
“Don’t put my child in that grave! He’ll sleep alone.”

Deafening silence.

My existence shattered to the core.
My mind screams, my heart beats savagely with unbelief.
Tears flow unabated and mingle with unbearable sorrow.
“Goodbye, my darling.” I whisper in anguish as I sprinkle my handful of dirt on that tiny coffin.
The soil becomes his covering, the earth his embrace.
I turn my back, but not my heart.

“O God, how did this happen?”

My darling child is dead.
My heart is raped.
My hope, vanished.


*****

Unexpected, unwanted intrusions erupt in painful reflection.
Time hasn‘t wearied them.
Again I force the vexing memories into dark recesses of my mind.
Instead, I look intently into to my Creator’s face. Smiling, I climb up into His lap. I bask in His love, comforted in His embrace. I hear His Voice.

“Daughter, you will live again.”

“Do I dare hope again, Lord?”

“Listen.” He whispers.

The wind of His Spirit carries a baby’s cry. I hear it. It arrests my heart.

“Listen again daughter, there’s more than one voice.”

“Yes! I can hear them, Lord.”

I recognize different cries.

Cries of the abandoned tug violently at my mother’s heart.
I hear the cries of hunger. I long to satisfy those hunger pangs.
The piercing cry of terror from another, pulls me to my feet.
I hear the cries of multitudes in tormented anguish - agonized cries for mercy, for respite.
Cries from the earth, cries from hell.
Haunting cries that beckon my response.

“Will you answer their cry?” I hear Him ask.

“No I can’t, Lord. It costs too much, the pain is unbearable. Please don’t ask me to go again. Already one of my precious seeds is planted in foreign soil.”

“Listen again, my daughter.”

“Amma! Amma, Amma, where are you? I’m afraid, Amma, I’m hungry … Ammmaaaa! Don’t let them hurt me, please! Where are you Amma?”

Pitiful cries assault my ears, sting my heart. Cries that begin to mingle with mine, mingle with His.

My mind drifts inevitably to my son’s final moments, his last earthly cry. I remember his lonely, unmarked grave - far from my gaze, an ocean separates us.

He whispers again into the depths of my soul, “I hold your son in my embrace just as I long to hold these little ones, safe, close to my heart.”


“My grave is empty!”

His words capture my cowering heart. I’m strangely warmed, newly awakened.

But again my mind reacts. “He was snatched from my breast.” I lament.

“Will your aching breast nurture one estranged from another’s womb? I left the womb of the grave to love them, to redeem them – each one who cries.”

“I’m a broken vessel. How can I go again?”

“Who better to go than one fashioned, tempered by suffering, one attentive to children’s cries, moved to tears … one that carries My heart-beat to My children in a far away land.”

My pounding heart pulsates with His light! I finally understand. My beloved has been ransomed for the many.

“Lord, I’m afraid, but I will go again.”

I am compelled to answer the cry of motherless children.
I cannot bear their cry, I cannot ignore them … I must go!




Words: 649
__________________________________________
Authors note: Based on a true story – mine!
‘Amma’ is the English translation for ‘Mother’ in many Indian languages.


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This article has been read 1304 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 10/26/06
Oh yes! This brought tears to my eyes as well. Absolutely beautiful. Blessings on you.
Pat Guy 10/26/06
Every word, every stroke of your pen - every agony of your heart - is held, in the Palm of His Hand. May the warmth of His Love carry you as He guides each step and directs your path. Love,
Pat
Kevin Kindrick10/26/06
A powerful story indeed...guaranteed to soften the hardest of hearts. My heart, to has been broken for little ones the world over...I'm thinking specifically of two little girls in an orphanage in Cidad Juarez - Dane, and Jenesis. It is a powerful thing, to hear the cries of children around the world - and more powerful still to be able to do something about it.
Thanks for going, and thanks for sharing.

God bless,

Kevin
Amy Michelle Wiley 10/27/06
I can guess who wrote this and it's all the more powerful for knowing the story behind it.
william price10/27/06
I just sat silently for minutes after reading this. I could never even attempt to write on such a subject. The honesty would be too heavy, too suffocating. But, I am encouraged, at some point, in God's timing, its possible. Thank you for the encouragment. This is very well written, but I know you didn't put this to word to hear that. God bless.
Verna Cole Mitchell 10/28/06
You told this personal story in a magnificent way. I'm glad God was able to bring something beautiful out of your grief and to give you strength to answer His call.
Jan Ackerson 10/29/06
Utterly, breath-takingly, heart-breakingly, beautifully stunning. Words fail me...this is just the most real thing I have ever read, and the most full of Grace.
Donna Emery10/30/06
Oh, wow. This is so incredibly lovely. This touched my heart in ways that are too profound to express. Thanks so much for sharing this... and for having the courage to write it. May the Lord bless you.
Anita Neuman10/31/06
To understand the far-reaching purpose of such a profound loss is one thing. To accept that purpose in lieu of the life lost would require such a heart-breaking journey that I can't even imagine it. I am so blessed by your courage to bare your soul here, my dear friend. And I pray that the rewards you reap from obeying His call will comfort even the part of your heart that still agonizes over Daniel's death.
Valora Otis11/01/06
I felt your spirit touch mine through your words, as I have many times through the months. May God bless you and may he hold you, when your heart aches. Your ministry has truly touched me deeply. I pray for those children too, taking them into our home and our hearts. Love, Lorikeet:-)
Suzanne R11/02/06
Magnificent, dear friend. Just magnificent.
Donna Haug11/02/06
Karen, That was powerful. I loved the way you didn't just tell it in plain story form. I loved picturing you sitting on the Saviour's lap. Superb writing from a broken heart - God's greatest tool. Amazing.
Sharlyn Guthrie11/02/06
Heart-rending, and skillfully worded. Your recognition is well-deserved.
Venice Kichura11/05/06
Powerful poem, Karen!

Congratulations!