The Official Writing Challenge
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10/26/06
Such a gentle and loving way to tell the story of Jesus and salvation. It wasn't preached, it was spoken with clear concise words that Michael wanted repeated again and again by his friend. Great story, with just a couple of goof ups. An "n" missing for one...but otherwise well done.
10/26/06
Good story. I too liked the way the gospel was shared in a non-threatening way. In the first part when he was holding his friend's head, I was a little confused as to which 'his' and 'he' belonged to which guy. You may need to use a name when you use two pronouns referring to different people in the same sentence/paragraph.
10/27/06
You created a heart-wrenching scene with an easily explained message. Nice job.(:
I liked this story. I found it really interesting - one that needed pondering. So ... my reading of it is not that Michael needed the gospel told him, but that he was helping our unnamed hero to keep his own life properly focused. Furthermore, it is even possible that our ministering Michael may even have been an angel. ... But do angels remove themselves from our experience by apparently dying? Who knows! Interesting to reflect on though! I can see the "everyman" advantage in not giving the missionary a name, but I think it probably didn't work. There is something a little disconcerting about having the name for one character but not one for the main character, which is probably not a sensation that you were aiming for.

I repeat - I really liked this. I hope it does well. God bless, Steve
10/27/06
Very interesting piece. Ane the identity of Michael is left, I suspect, deliberately ambiguous. Main criticism - I found it a bit tricky to work out who was whom at times, had to read parts a couple of times to work ut which was injured and which was the missionary. Very enjoyable to read, with your usual flair for story and mystery!
Like Helen, I had to rearead parts to figure out who was injured. Besides that slight confusion, I thought it was very well-written.
10/29/06
Very good depiction of the scene. I could almost see the poisoned darts. I also thought the end was very good. Missionary..tell us more.

Thanks!
10/29/06
I enjoyed this touching story very much. It is very inspiring and well written. Thanks for sharing it.
10/29/06
I agree with the other critiques there is a confusion wiht the he and his. But other than that, and a few typos, lovely job.
10/31/06
Great job! This story was full of deep emotion-and truth.
10/31/06
Nice job. You drew me in from the beginning. Michael's (the angel Michael?) was sent to take his place so our protaganist could continue to minister to the natives. One guy doing his job so another could do his. I found myself wishing the word limit was a few hundred higher so this story could have been fleshed out some more. Great concept; thanks for this one.

11/01/06
Overall a good tense story. Probably some identifiers along the way would help. Great endings.
I like your rain forest description "pulsated with life." That's perfect. I'm still wondering about Michael's identity. This was a very intriguing read, and I truly enjoyed it.
11/02/06
WONDERFUL dialogue and description here, Sue! One of my personal favorites :D