The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/26/06
"Avah strolled the Haifa beach, the soft sand caressing her feet. She heard the waves whisper God's love back and forth to each other. The sun touched her shoulder in a warm embrace; the wind kissed her cheek." Your sensory writing draws a reader into your spiritual world. Well done!
10/26/06
Wow. I love these Isreali stories. I have a Christian Isreali friend who when asked about his faith answered, "You don't know how hard it is here to be a Christian." We must remember to pray for Jewish Christians. Though I found some of your early phrasing a little choppy, I agree that the descriptions were vivid and your message was powerful.
10/27/06
Lovely--I like the way you created the beach scene and put your reader right there with your protagonist, but without an overuse of adjectives. Your language was sparse, just like her emotional state. Very effective.
This is almost haunting in its feel. The descriptions are lovely and vivid, and I enjoyed it very much.
Beautifully written. This story tugged at my heartstrings. Our pastor has a Jewish birth mother(he was adopted by Christians) and his heart is torn by her refusal to acknowledge the savior.
Powerful story. Well done.
10/30/06
Wow - I loved this sentence - 'Then she felt a hand on her shoulder, noticed a warmth seep into her soul.'

And I loved this story! So well told and written! It's wonderful.
Awesome story, I'm still wiping tears from my eyes. I could vividly picture the beach and then the scene at the meeting. Great job!
11/02/06
As soon as I read this piece, I knew I needed to comment. This is INCREDIBLY moving and atmospheric and REAL. Love the topic too ;) Wonderful job, dear friend!