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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Police (10/12/06)

TITLE: Police Wife
By william price
10/19/06


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Mrs. Marilyn Masterson loves Saturdays. She had already eaten the breakfast her husband cooked, drank coffee with him on their deck and told him what to pick up for dinner.

Before he left for the store, her husband gave her a kiss on the cheek and said he would be back soon.

“I love you,” she whispered as she watched him drive away in his car. The fifty-five-year-old wife, mother and grandmother then shifted her gaze to his parked patrol car. She took another sip of coffee and smiled.

Thank you, God, for weekends.

She was watching two redbirds in the garden when her cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“You’re never far away from that phone are you, mom?”

“Hey, sweetie, it’s good to hear your voice.”

“What are you and dad doing today?”

“Not too much. What’s up?”

“Just wondering if the boys and I can come over?”

“Sounds great, I’ll give your dad a call and tell him to bring more steaks home. Where’s Kole today?”

“Working. He’s not a big shot like dad with weekends off. Steaks sound great. And, mom, what’s the Word today?”

“The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

“Psalms 121:8, right?”

“Good girl, Rachel.”

“Wasn’t hard to remember, mom. It’s been the same Word all week.”

“Haven’t felt like changing it. When are you coming over?”

“In about an hour.”

“Okay, we’ll see you then. Give the boys a kiss.”

As soon as she was done talking to her daughter, the phone rang again.
Her Saturday smile disappeared.

“Okay, dear. You be careful. Isn’t that in Kole’s zone? Are you sure you don’t need your other car? Okay then, and hey, on your way back from this little situation, do you think you could pick up a couple more steaks? Rachel and the boys will be over. Love you too. See you later.”

She looked again for the redbirds, but they had left. She closed her eyes in silent prayer.

The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

One hour later, Rachel and the kids arrived. Two hours later, the boys were getting hungry. Three hours later, Marilyn was cooking grilled cheese sandwiches. Five hours later, the boys were lying on the living room floor watching cartoons while mother and daughter were drinking tea on the deck.

“Do you think we should call them, mom?”

“No I don’t, sweetie, we wouldn’t want to distract them.”

“Let’s call dispatch then.”

“Rachel, we can’t bother them either.”

“How about the scanner, mom?”

“Rachel, dear, I’ve been at this thirty-five years. God’s with them and He’s right here with us.”

“Okay, Mom. Hey, what’s the Word?”

“The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

“Don’t you think we should change it?”

“Nope.”

Two hours after tea, the kids were napping while mother and daughter were watching a redecorating show on television.

“I like that color, don’t you, mom?”

Marilyn was just about to answer when she heard a car pull up in the driveway. The unfamiliar sound gave her a slight chill.

“Is that dad, mom?”

“Doesn’t sound like his car, sweetie.”

“I’m gonna look.”

Marilyn watched her daughter look out the living room window down to the driveway.

“I can’t tell, Mom. All I can see is the back end of a patrol car.”

Marilyn took a deep breath and began to fight back a tear.

“Hey, here comes dad, mom. He’s pulling in too. That’s Kole’s car down there. There both in the driveway. Let’s go see them.”

Rachel’s smile quickly swallowed the tear from her eye.

“No, sweetie, just wait here. They’ll be up in a minute.”

In a few moments the front door opened and in walked the two husbands. Rachel immediately jumped up and ran into Kole’s arms. Marilyn just looked up into the eyes of her man. She saw him smile and her heart skipped a beat. She then noticed the bandages on his arm and was going to speak, but she saw him shake his head.

“Nothing to worry about, honey, it’s just a scratch.”

“Well what happened that took all day,” Rachel asked?

When Marilyn saw the officers’ eyes meet in silent communication she knew they didn‘t need to talk about it then.

“Well, did you remember the steaks,” interrupted Marilyn as she stood up?

“No, but we ordered pizza.”

“Pizza sounds great, dear. I always love pizza.”


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This article has been read 1213 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 10/21/06
And nobody has commented yet? This is great - the writing, the story, the suspense and the lesson. Well done.
Rhonda Clark 10/23/06
This is great. It really pulled me in and kept me guessing. It was also very easy to follow. Great job!
Venice Kichura10/23/06
I agree--masterfully done!
Ann Grover10/23/06
Couldn't breathe until the end. Whew!
Pat Guy 10/23/06
Wow! This IS great William! I was holding my breath too! Whew!

Some really good writing here! Great impact and a good message so well weaved together.
Jan Ackerson 10/24/06
You masterfully covered both the suspense, and the wife's supernatural peace. Loved it!

I wonder if the first sentence should have a past tense verb?

I think this would be a great piece for a police chaplin to share with police spouses. It's very, very good.
Donna Haug10/24/06
My hubby wanted to be a policeman before we went into the ministry. He's been talking about it jokingly ever since we came home on home assignment from Africa. He'd make a great cop. I'm not sure I'D make a great Police Wife! Yikes! Such mature, seasoned love shown by the mom. Good story.
Betty Castleberry10/24/06
Wonderful! This held my attention from the very first word. I could feel the emotions of the wives while they waited. I understand why this is in masters.
Marilyn Schnepp 10/24/06
Family friendly, suspenseful, and very good dialogue! The best part of the story was the Police Wife's Name! Her name gave this story that certain touch of class that it needed. All kidding aside, Super read, brilliant write...and with the main Character's name "Marilyn" - you can't go wrong! Kudos!
Catrina Bradley 10/25/06
Excellent! I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until both husbands walked in the door safe. Whew! One misplaced question mark - but didn't detract from your wonderful story at all. Loved the wife's reliance on God to keep them safe. Why was I worried? :)
Andrea Hargrove10/25/06
I was concerned for a while, thinking it would have a sad ending, but I think I would have liked it even if there had been. (You can't beat pizzas, though.)
Valora Otis10/25/06
Only you would know how a wife of a police officer would feel. I bet your wife loved this one. Thanks for letting us in and sharing the emotion, and the strength that the Lord can give us during times of trial. This was fantastic!
Beth Muehlhausen10/26/06
Great suspense and character development. I was biting my fingernails all the way to the end! You effectively transported your reader right into the thick of the situation. Good job!
Lynda Lee Schab 10/26/06
Wonderful story! Excellent dialogue,smooth story flow. The only thing I wondered was why his wife didn't receive at least a phone call at some point during the day but I realize that would have taken away from the trust and Word theme. Nice work.
Suzanne R10/26/06
Oh, thank goodness..... I was physically all tensed up and holding my breath by the end there. Great writing and congratulations on placing in this week's challenge - it is well deserved!
Val Clark10/27/06
A well deserved placing. Gripping faith story, well drawn characters and delightful relationships. Well done. Yeggy.
Edy T Johnson 10/27/06
Oooh! Now I can breathe again. I didn't realize it until the end of the story, but your writing had me actually holding my breath, scared right along with your police-wife characters. Man, you sure do write good! Congratulations on your Editor's Choice win, SirWilliam.
Joanne Sher 10/27/06
William - as usual, I LOVE this! Your characterization is wonderful, your description perfect, and the way you messed with my emotions SHAMEFUL ;)
A well-deserved placing - I too was holding my breath without realizing it! Masterful in every way!