The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 772 times
Member Comments
I'm not a poetry expert by any means, but I liked this. The rhyming scheme was a bit off, but it flowed well for me.

I think this would make a great story. To me, it would be much more dramatic that way. Either way, nice idea and well crafted.
Without the title to clue me in - I'm afraid I would have said something like "could've been written by a 7 yr old", but the title tells us's not an adult talking. So how can I say it doesn't rhyme? Doesn't have meter? Is way off center poetry-wise? I can't! Why?'s a child's Point of View.
To me it felt a bit awkward as a poem - even from a child's point of view. I loved the story line. I think as prose written from the same point of view it would work better for me. But that is just one reader's opinion. I enjoyed the comfortable, safe feeling the child felt in the policeman's arms.
The story is very good, but I'm not sure that poetry was the right vehicle for it. Poetry lends itself better to some situations than to others. I'd like to see this done in prose, still from the child's point of view. Good insights!
Come and post your poetry at Poetry and Poets of God: