The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/20/06
Oh, the pain! I could feel it. Opens our eyes to the struggles police officers go through - in their private lives and in their line of work.
10/22/06
I recently heard of a friend a rookie cop who had responded to a call that almost required him to shoot his gun for the first time in his career. He was thanking God that at the last minute, his sargeant arrived and solved the problem with a tazer. It's a terrible responsibility for a human being to bear. Thanks for doing such a good job in showing us that.
10/23/06
Hopefully this Entry is fictional - but it does happen, and you wrote it in such a beautiful manner; Loved your story, and it touched me to the core. Great Job!
10/23/06
Very realistic. Great descriptions of the emotions of the officer. I loved how the title realted to the story. Keep up the good work.
Very thoughtfully written. I had a good idea of how the policeman felt. Just one teeny thing: I believe you meant "paint chipped and *peeling* ", instead of *pealing*, which refers to the ringing of a bell.
All in all, very good!
10/23/06
I like this a lot--the emotions are very real, and you've created a very sympathetic character. Since you asked, I'll point out "hazards" is spelled with one "z".

Great job on this one!
10/23/06
You tell a good story. Nice job. God bless.
You expressed the inner struggle and deep emotions of the police officer well. What a sad story! But your telling of it was expertly done.
10/23/06
Though painful, this is very good writing. Something we perhaps never think about, but many police probably live with such hard things daily. Good job!
10/23/06
I feel for that cop. At least, he's going to go and talk to the family--that's a hard thing to do.
10/24/06
Very deep, drew the reader in, carrying an emotional impact. Sad-but good.
Just a tip-maybe in the first paragraph use present tense?
10/25/06
This was a great angle on "police." You've touched on a very real issue that police face in a sensitive way. You drew me right in to Brian's world and made me feel his pain. Nice work.
10/25/06
This piece was written by one who knows the pain of loss well. It was so realistic that it pained me to read it. Well done and bless you for digging so deep and sharing so much. The story was smooth and believable. Bless you!
10/25/06
A story of pain, well told, and too true.
10/25/06
I need to clarify my comment above. "It pained me to read it." What I meant was, that it was so well written that I felt the charaters pain. Wonderful writing Pup!