The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/19/06
Right on target! Great beginning and super ending! A fantastic and enjoyable read and written with deep emotion and realism. Loved this story! Can't find anything negative! Kudos.
Excellent short story! My dad wss not a policeman, but he had a great heart like the dad in the story.
10/19/06
Wonderfully written story.
10/20/06
"I couldn’t see his face, but I saw the wink of a red coal being lifted to his lips, and then an indistinct smudge of smoke like an eraser dragged across a page of charcoal." Loved this sentence - though at first reading I thought it was some kind of extra terrestrial being. LOL Sweet story.
10/21/06
Excellent descriptive writing – very well done. At points I wasn’t entirely sure who was speaking and I had to go back and read the preceding section. This upset the flow of the narrative but not so as to spoil the good ending
10/21/06
I love this! A true depiction of what grace looks like! Well done! I look forward to your next challenge story!
10/22/06
Wonderful story! The only thing that bothered me was giving a hundred bucks to a kid who would probably smoke it. If you ever rewrite this, can I suggest that you make the contact between the cop and the kid something more personal? Otherwise, I think this is a winner.
10/23/06
I love the way you write! Great descriptions. I could definitely see your characters and feel the various emotions. Way to show and not tell.

10/26/06
WOW! What a wonderful, wonderful story, written masterfully. Congrats on your well-deserved win!
10/26/06
Wow - what an amazingly captivating and moving story. Congratulations on your EXTREMELY well-deserved win!!!
Karen, your story is just wonderful. I love the forgiveness and grace exemplified in the story. Congratulations on your 1st place win. What an accomplishment!
10/26/06
Very good POV: having the daughter reveal to us the MC. Got me in from the beginning and kept me reading. Great description of the kid smoking. A well deserved win. yeggy
Very well-deserved win. Congratulations! - Donna
WOW! I can see why this won! A belated congratulations on a well-deserved win!