The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/12/06
With no scripture reference, I assume this is fiction. However, very creative, nicely written and on topic!
Your story telling style is gripping. You kept my attention all the way from beginning to end. I am not familiar enough with the story to know what is scriptural and what is not, but now I am motivated to look it up. It would be helpful to have a reference for the basis for the story, or else more of an explanation at the end, but I have nothing but praise for your writing technique!
10/18/06
A very compelling read! Definitely captured my imagination. Great description and dialogue.
10/18/06
Excellent! I could definitely envision this story clearly. I was captivated by your eloquent words. Well done! Thanks for sharing it.
10/18/06
Wow! Great writing! I especially loved the end.
:)
10/18/06
Great story. I can't imagine living through that! In 'looking' for suggestions, the only thing that stood out to me was a shade of redundancy in the following sentence: "Josiah knowingly marched on with purpose" But that's nit picky. Good work.
10/18/06
Well done!
10/18/06
Very well told and nicely written. One little suggestion would be to eliminate the dialogue tag "Josiah hissed..." Instead: "'Ssshh. You'll see.' Josiah reached for one..." Hissed is unnecessary because of the dialogue "Ssshh." This was a very intersting story that I really enjoyed. Great job!