The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/12/06
What I liked - Everything! This was so delightful! I liked the use of present tense- I was feeling thier love and excitement build with them and then - boom- you dropped that scene in - very true (sadly) and powerful.
What I would change - as I said before - nothing at all - it is so well written.
10/13/06
Very unique take on fire-fighter...but definitely true. On the other side of the coin, (just to be fair & square) - stubble, a/k/a the "5 o'clock shadow" can also be a fire-fighter. :) Bottom line, great entry, well written, and an enjoyable read.
10/13/06
Very enjoyable read. I hope Andrew learns its what's inside the wrapper that makes the candy bar rock. But maybe that truth can be saved for the next short story.
10/13/06
LOL! You made me feel like a newlywed again. I enjoyed this piece's subtle sense of humor. Thanks for the chuckle! :-)