Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Fire-fighter (10/05/06)
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TITLE: Just The Other Day | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joanne Sher
10/08/06 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I saw innocence speed by
in 3T overalls
a bright yellow shirt
Bob the Builder tennis shoes
and a fireman's helmet.
His blue and white tricycle
(with superhero trading cards
stuck in the spokes)
raced down the block,
bicycle bell ringing,
to come to the rescue
of cats stuck in trees
(do firemen still do that?)
and damsels in distress.
His fire hose twig
and boymade sound effects
triumphed over the flames
in grandiose fashion.
He was the hero
to his little sister
his stuffed dalmatian
and his imaginary friend Bud.
He was my hero too
for his reckless abandon
for his innocence
for his love of a pursuit
that had robbed him of a father.
As he napped on my chest
two years ago
(seems like yesterday)
his dada entered the flames
and entered heaven.
He wants to be like
the daddy he doesn't remember
to save the damsel in distress
to protect the world from the flames.
My little firefighter
showed me how to love
how to embrace a memory
how to honor a legacy
just the other day.
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My only suggestion would be to choose a different word instead of repeating "entered" in the following lines. Maybe something suggesting he came through the flames on the other side into heaven?
"his dada entered the flames
and entered heaven."
Good work!
Just wonderful. Thank you.
This is beautiful, heartwarming, and tear-jerking all at the same time.
I loved the free verse that obviously flowed from your heart and your pen.
Such beautiful, descriptive phrases that have left me sighing deeply.
A most enjoyable read that I will definitely be revisiting!