Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Fire-fighter (10/05/06)

TITLE: CSI: Jerusalem
By Ruth Neilson


Case File: 0033—Drunken Fires

“Irresponsible—simply irresponsible!” Saul bellowed. His newly appointed position as fire marshal of the city of Jerusalem was already causing havoc in his life. “Tell me how a group that large could have missed the smell of singed hair? And, for that matter—how did all of them manage to catch their hair on fire to start with?”

Pilate leaned forward, a small smile playing on his narrow lips, studying the paperwork in front of him. “Perhaps they were a little drunk...it is Pentecost and the people do tend to celebrate a little harder than normal.”

Saul simply raised one of his carefully groomed eyebrows. “At nine o’clock in the morning?”

“So, they are party animals! They were part of that group that followed that Jesus fellow around.”

Caiaphas leaned back in his plush chair. He was clearly in deep thought and then he finally righted himself once again, pushing one of his plump fingers into the stack of papers.

“Are there any damages? Anything that we can pin on these people to keep them off of the streets—for the good of the people of Jerusalem?”

Saul slowly shook his head as he gathered part of the stack of papers to him. “Nothing reported. I had my men examine that room from top to bottom, several times...but there is nothing.”

“No ash, soot...not even that smoky smell that lingers for days afterward?”

Saul snorted once. “Nothing, sir. And their leader, Simon Peter has offered the city government an explanation and a public apology...of sorts.”

Pilate tilted his head to the side and frowned. “What do you mean of sorts?”

Saul hesitated for a long moment, before sliding the papers across the table. The room was filled with a silent tension.

“It doesn’t make much sense to me sire, but I have the best religious experts in the city working on this as we speak.” His words tumbled over each other like dry kindling—but were ignored.

Finally, the silence was shattered by the cackling laugh that erupted from Pilate and then from Caiaphas.

“Simon Peter is the craziest of the group. And there is nothing that we can do about him or the others—for now. All we can do is make note of a possible arson attempt on his public record and let them go...”

Caiaphus scowled at the wall for a long moment.

“The owner of the house isn’t willing to place charges and no one was injured” Saul pressed on, gathering his paper work. There was work to be done. There was always another fire to clean up.

As he stood up to leave, one of the temple messengers burst into the room, his clothes askew from running up several flights of stairs and across the temple courtyard. His eyes were bright in disbelief from what he either had heard or seen.

“Whoa, there, kid, where’s the fire!”
“Ain’t no fire this time, sir. Simon Peter and one of his buddies are back ‘gain and this time causing chaos by healin’ one of the beggars!”

“He’s leaping around, shouting, praising God, and just ruining the entire atmosphere of the temple! Something’s gotta be done about those people!”

The moment that those words left the young man’s mouth, Caiaphus and Pilate leapt to their feet and ran out the room. Saul smiled faintly. He was not going to get his hands dirty. At least not yet not until he had more evidence.

“Arrest them for being a fire hazard!” Saul called after the other two men. “They should know better than be encouraging leaping in the temple. That is a children’s game!”

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 878 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Everest Alexander 10/12/06
Creative, funny, insightful! Good reading and good writng! A very good job! Special kudos for your title! Thanks for sharing your gift!
Dolores Stohler10/12/06
Great idea - Pentecost. Wish I'd thought of it. Good writing and with a touch of humor, too. Nice job.
Marilyn Schnepp 10/12/06
Very creative for those of us who know our Bibles; but I would strongly suggest a Biblical Reference to this incident to give those who are not acquainted with the Bible story...something to read in order to understand this wonderful, insightful and humorous version of the day the Spirit ascended on the desciples with forks of fire on their heads. Otherwise, they would be confused, bewildered and wondering what all the fuss about arson. Just a helpful suggestion for the unbeliever.
Susan Johnstone10/13/06
As per the above comment, I do read my Bible and yet still felt a bit confused as to the whole plot of the story. More information needed, either by way of Bible reference or some mention of the event in the narrative itself perhaps?
Peggy Bennitt10/13/06
Thanks for the history! I did not know that Pentecost was a Jewish holiday (Shabuoth) before it was a Christian holiday. your cleverly told story challenged me to look it up. I learned something new and enjoyed the story. The ending let me down a bit, but I loved how you intorduced Peter and Saul, who would lock horns with Peter even as a Christian. Great, knowlegeable story! Peg
Jan Ackerson 10/16/06
Extremely clever, creative, and witty. NIce job.
Joanne Sher 10/16/06
VERY creative and thought-provoking - and I ADORE your point of view and language here. Definitely gave me a new perspective!
Catrina Bradley 10/16/06
Ditto everyone's praises of your story. (I was confused when Pilate said that it was Pentacost, but only out my own ignorance of Jewish Holidays. Then I read Peggy's comment...) A great read.
Jen Davis10/16/06
What a great story! Very engrossing and wonderfully written. I’m looking forward to reading more of your work. Great job!
Donna Powers 10/16/06
A unique approach to the topic. I really enjoyed reading it and it brought a smile to my face. Well done!
Shari Armstrong 10/16/06
Love it!!! Love the CSI twist.
Lynda Lee Schab 10/17/06
Nicely done and entertaining too! I echo the bit about the Bible verse but otherwise this was great!
Sara Harricharan 10/17/06
This was great reading, very enjoyable. I think you did a great job-keep it up!
dub W10/17/06
Nothing I can say here that hasn't already been said. Good solid creative work - loved the twist.
Bonnie Derksen10/17/06
Very well done! Loved the atmosphere, the tone, the "show don't tell".

The style was creative and humorous and leaves me wanting to read more of your work.

Blessings on your pen!