The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoy dramatic recreations of scripture, so I enjoyed your article. A painted miniature of a humungous event!
I am intrigued that you refer to God as 'our Friend'. I've never seen that before and I wonder if it's an accurate word to describe the relationship at that point between God and his human creatures? But the very fact that you've made me ponder that question makes me glad!
I am also intrigued that Adam doesn't mention the Serpent's role in this. Nor the nature of the fruit that Evie proffers, other than the Serpent's promise of wisdom.
But these are the artistic choices you've made. It's good sometimes to cut a passage down and concentrate on one aspect - which here is the effect on their relationship.
I love his line 'You've never gone against me before!' or words to that effect, when Evie has just disobeyed Almighty God himself, a slightly more serious crime perhaps!
I wonder if you were seeking humour in your article? It wouldn't take much tweaking to develop it into a comic monologue, but maybe that wouldn't be to your taste.
Anyway, thanks for the cameo.
(Crit done from memory so forgive errors)
Love these short, sweet and to the point entries! Very Creative. Nicely done.
"Oh Evie ..." It took me a minute to figure out who "Evie" was! LOL Very nice. This is a good entry wrapped up in a small package. Well done! :)
There is a lot of emotion right below the surface of this little piece. A Short DAVEY for you.