Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Garden (09/07/06)

TITLE: A Harvest in the Garden
By Janell Price
09/12/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Dearest Evie, where are you? What is that you have in your hand? Yes, it's pretty. Why do you think it will make you wise? No, we shouldn't even think about how it tastes.

Can't I talk you out of this? You've never gone against me before. And what about our Friend who created this garden and all that is in it? He put us in charge of everything and told us we could eat from all the trees except this one. If you are hungry for something new, why don't we pick fruit from that other tree, the one called Life?

I fear things will never be the same if you eat this forbidden fruit. Disobeying will change you. We will be separated in some way, living together, yet apart. I cannot bear that.

If you are determined to eat, Dear One, then I must eat, too, so that whatever happens, we experience it together.

. . . Oh, Evie, what have we done?


165 words


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 1165 times
Member Comments
Member Date
geoff anderson09/14/06
I enjoy dramatic recreations of scripture, so I enjoyed your article. A painted miniature of a humungous event!
I am intrigued that you refer to God as 'our Friend'. I've never seen that before and I wonder if it's an accurate word to describe the relationship at that point between God and his human creatures? But the very fact that you've made me ponder that question makes me glad!
I am also intrigued that Adam doesn't mention the Serpent's role in this. Nor the nature of the fruit that Evie proffers, other than the Serpent's promise of wisdom.
But these are the artistic choices you've made. It's good sometimes to cut a passage down and concentrate on one aspect - which here is the effect on their relationship.
I love his line 'You've never gone against me before!' or words to that effect, when Evie has just disobeyed Almighty God himself, a slightly more serious crime perhaps!
I wonder if you were seeking humour in your article? It wouldn't take much tweaking to develop it into a comic monologue, but maybe that wouldn't be to your taste.
Anyway, thanks for the cameo.
(Crit done from memory so forgive errors)
Marilyn Schnepp 09/15/06
Love these short, sweet and to the point entries! Very Creative. Nicely done.
Jan Ross09/16/06
"Oh Evie ..." It took me a minute to figure out who "Evie" was! LOL Very nice. This is a good entry wrapped up in a small package. Well done! :)
david grant09/21/06
There is a lot of emotion right below the surface of this little piece. A Short DAVEY for you.