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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Garden (09/07/06)

TITLE: The witness of the garden
By Melanie Kerr
09/12/06


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It happened in a garden
On a warm and sunny day
Life so pure and flawless
Was coldly snatched away

The enemy so stealthily
With words so soft and light
Poisoned hearts and spirits
With bleak and cutting spite

Fruit that was forbidden
Was taken from the tree
With the hollow, empty promise
“In tasting, you’ll be free.”

The garden bore its witness
To mankind’s sinful deed
Inside their stubborn hearts was sown
And ugly, hellish seed

Rebellion like a flower
Flushed with foolish pride
Lured them from the narrow path
And from their Maker’s side

Fear stalked in the shadows
Darkness clouded day
Into a frigid, freezing world
God’s children made their way

For years and generations
The seasons came and went
Man’s efforts to draw near to God
Were futile, empty, spent

But then, another garden
Gethsemane, the place
A man who sweated blood
Sought the Maker’s face

“Not my will,” he uttered
“I’ll drink Your cup of wrath.
I’ll bear Your whip of anger.
And walk Your bloody path.”

Angels watched in wonder
This long envisioned scene
One life, one sacrifice restored
Mankind to where they’d been

This garden bore its witness
To this man’s bended knee
His whole and full surrender
Would set creation free


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This article has been read 2240 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 09/14/06
Great truth in a compelling rhyme. Good job.
Val Clark09/16/06
Really enjoyed this, though stanza 4 rocked the rhythm about a bit. yeggy
Marilyn Schnepp 09/18/06
A Masters entry...well, in 4th paragraph an "an" instead of an and; and "scene and been" don't rhyme, but all in all...I liked it; made perfect sense; told the story, and was an enjoyable read. We underlings just expect perfection up here in Level 4...so we get "picky" about the smallest things. (Sorry) But I liked it...flaws and all! Very, very much!
Donna Emery09/19/06
This is so well done. Thank you for sharing it.
Jan Ackerson 09/19/06
The whole of our faith, summarized in just a few well-crafted stanzas--this is marvelous.
Beth Muehlhausen09/19/06
A comprehensive poem; you packed a lot in here! Your thoughts flow well - the only place I tripped was "And ugly, hellish seed" instead of "an" (minor typo). Good job w/ this!
Joanne Sher 09/19/06
So succintly covering the history of man, and so beautifully done! This definitely kept my interest from beginning to end! Wonderful writing!
Karen Treharne09/23/06
Good job, Melanie. A fine poem worthy of a win. Congratulations and God's blessings.
Monique Fox11/13/06
Come and post your poetry at Poetry and Poets of God: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poetryandpoetsofgod/