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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Garden (09/07/06)

TITLE: The Sixth Day in the Garden, As Told by the Cockroach
By Teri Wilson
09/10/06


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The colorful fellow with the feathers and the wobbly red thing on his head lets out a bloodcurdling scream and we all turn to look. His voice could wake the dead. Later, he will come to be known as Rooster. But, for now, none of us have names.

He’s desperately trying to get our attention for some sort of important announcement.

“Hear ye, hear ye,” he warbles. “All fish of the sea, birds of the air and every living creature that moves on the ground is hereby commanded to gather at the garden entrance for the Naming Ceremony. All living creatures will be assigned a name and a suitable companion will be selected for Adam, a Man made in the Creator’s image.”

It’s a little tough to understand what he’s saying, with all the clucking between words, but we get the idea. The animals are all in a tizzy about getting names and a stampede starts heading for the entrance to the garden. I understand why everyone’s so excited. I, myself, am tired of answering to, “Hey you! Crunchy thing.”

However, the part of the announcement I find particularly fascinating is the search for a companion for Adam. Now, I wasn’t born yesterday. Okay, it was earlier today. Still, I’m no dummy. Obviously, if this Adam guy has been made in the Creator’s image he’s going to be pretty important in the scheme of things around here. If I can get selected as his companion, I’ll be sitting pretty.

It’s a mob scene at the garden gates and all the animals are primping. Those with fur are fluffing themselves up and trying to look adorable. A black and white striped creature with hooves approaches me and asks, “Does this hide make me look fat?”

“No. Actually it’s quite slimming.” She does look good. Obviously, I’m not going to win this thing with my good looks.

An angel holding a clipboard taps me on the wing. “Here’s your number: 457,239. Do not approach Adam until your number has been called.”

Angels can be so bossy. Give them a clipboard and a badge and… well, you know what I mean.

I have a while to wait for my turn, so I watch the animals in line before me as they vie for the coveted position of Adam’s Companion. A very tall creature with a neck stretching up to the sky is standing before the Man. The Creator watches as Adam looks in up awe, enraptured.

“Ahhh, Giraffe,” he says in a breathy tone.

This is going to be tougher than I thought. The Man seems pretty impressed by outward appearances. Those of us who wear their skeletons on the outside are going to have a clear disadvantage.

Next up is a furry little thing with a wagging tail. He runs over to Adam and licks him right on the face. Have you ever seen such a suck-up? It’s disgusting. The creature is literally drooling all over himself and Adam is eating it up.

Finally, it’s my turn. I spit-polish my exoskeleton and scamper toward Adam. At first he doesn’t even notice me.

“Hey, I’m down here!” I wave my antennae back and forth seductively.

“Eek,” Adam shrieks and tries to hide behind the Creator.

“Sheesh, be a Man,” the Creator says and pushes Adam towards me. That phrase has a ring to it. I think it might catch on.

“Um, Mr. Adam. I know I’m not as big and attractive as some of the other animals here. But, I could be quite useful. You won’t even need to feed me. I’ll clean up all your messes and just feast on the crumbs you leave behind. Please give me a chance.”

Adam just looks at me in disgust and doesn’t say a word. Clearly I need to swallow my pride and grovel like the stupid Dog. I spread my sheer wings and fly directly toward Adam. I’m trying to land sweetly on his shoulder, but he’s shrieking like the animal he named Howler Monkey and waving his arms around. He might actually be trying to kill me.

“Okay, back off.” I’m being escorted away from the garden entrance by one of the angels. As I’m led away, I hear the Man say, “Ugh, Cockroach.”

It’s okay, though. Rumor has it Adam can’t choose an animal for his companion because he’s so darned picky. The Creator has made a new human named Woman and I have a feeling we’re going to get along great!


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This article has been read 1107 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 09/14/06
Love it! What a wonderful imagination you have. Having been "up-close-and-personal" with South American cockroaches, I always do one better than Adam — squash, don't scream. But, hey, this was great!
Jacqueline Zerres09/14/06
If you ever revise it, could you throw fire ants in there, too? Great story; I enjoyed it immensely!
Kevin Kindrick09/14/06
Ok, so I'm still laughing. This was great! I loved the lines, "because he's so picky" and, "I can see we're gonna get along great."
What a fun read. Thanks for sharing.

God bless,

Kevin
Jen Davis09/14/06
Fantastic! This is wonderfully cute and incredibly creative. My first big laugh was at "Hey you! Crunchy thing." Then again at "Now, I wasn't born yesterday. Okay..." Poor cockroach. You actually got me feeling sorry for the disgusting little critter. Exceptionally well done!
Birdie Courtright09/14/06
Too funny!!! Thanks for a great laugh! What a sense of humor and great imagination you have. Loved the flying sweetly toward Adam scene.
Val Clark09/15/06
Very funny! Had me smiling all the way through! I also loved “Hey you! Crunchy thing.” Really 'envy' people who can write funny stuff - it's a gift and you use it well! Yeggy
Venice Kichura09/15/06
All I can say is "WOW!" I think this is a winner!
Brenda Craig09/15/06
“Does this hide make me look fat?

So this is where "THOSE" words started...hehe. Nothing new under the sun, so they say.

I echo all the other comments. Outlandishly creative in every way. What a wheelbarrow load of fun you've created, Excellent Wow!
Joanne Sher 09/16/06
Too much fun! A laugh a line, at least! I also loved "Hey you, crunchy thing" - and most of your other lines! Masterfully done!
Amy Michelle Wiley 09/17/06
This is really great, so I'm gonna pick on a minor thing. It was obvious in the first paragraph that you were talking about a rooster, so you didn't need to spell it out. Very funny story! Great job.
Marilyn Schnepp 09/18/06
If you think Adam is picky - wait until you hear this reader: "A Rooster does not warble or scream...it crows!" Loved the last line - about getting along with the Woman. "Achhh!" That was funny.
Jan Ross09/19/06
How hillarious! I'm sitting here laughing and everyone's looking at me! LOL I struggled at the very beginning, not recognizing the rooster. But past that, you had me right where you wanted me -- lapping up every line, anticipating the next laugh in response to your wit and creativity! Excellent! :)
Beth Muehlhausen09/19/06
Okay, what can I say that hasn't been said?

Personification is outstanding; humor is hardly the common variety.

You're such a comedian!!! ;-D

Lynda Lee Schab 09/19/06
Definitely one of my favorites this week! Weonderfully creative appROACH and packed with humor. Simply delightful!
Donna Emery09/19/06
This made me laugh! So nicely done. An original piece, and I thouroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it.
Donna Emery09/19/06
This made me laugh! So nicely done. An original piece, and I thouroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it.
Ann Grover09/19/06
Still chuckling! TOO funny! Very well done!
Jan Ackerson 09/19/06
My favorite this week, this is just as clever as they come.
Sue Dent09/20/06
And a very fine attempt at humor it was! The flying cockroach is a site to behold! It's clear they have to formidable training in this area. I'm still laughing.
Verna Cole Mitchell 09/20/06
A wonderful read! Don Marquis can pass the baton to you!
Melanie Kerr 09/20/06
Tee hee! That was really funny! The cockroach trying to grovel like the stupid Dog! Pure genius. You maintained humour all the way through!
david grant09/22/06
Enjoyed this. Gonna give you a DAVEY for originality.