The Official Writing Challenge
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09/14/06
I love this. I especially love the alliteration in the beginning, and the fact that you didn't assume the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was an apple. :)
09/14/06
Excellent writing. I so enjoyed reading this. Beautiful!
09/14/06
Beautifully worded, but reminds me of a science fiction movie with Elohim and Adonai being the main characters...and loses the sacredness of God's creation. However, very imaginative and creative and SCI-FI or Mythical fans will love it.
09/15/06
A very creative account of creation, original sin and redemption. I was especially intrigued by your idea that other trees in the garden had names besides the tree of knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. You have caused me to think in a new way.

My favorite part of your story is the beginning.

You might be interested in my entry, A Harvest in the Garden. My main idea is that Adam ate of the apple knowing there would be severe consequences, chosing unity with Eve over unity with God. It is written entirely in dialogue.
09/15/06
Very intriguing! You packed a whole lot in just 750 words! I had to laugh -- when you identified one of the trees as a "she", I stumbled. For some reason I never thought of "mercy" or "forgiveness" as female. Not that it's bad, it just threw me for a moment! Great story! :)
Very interesting. You started with a beautiful garden that wilted under man's sin, to be restored later with Hope and Forgiveness.
09/19/06
Exceptionally well written. "Blood red seeds dropped to the earth..." I liked that you set apart each section with the various bold headings. I thought it worked very well with this piece. Beautifully done.
09/19/06
This is outstanding. I loved it, particularly the personification of the trees. Wonderful, wonderful!!!
09/19/06
Very interesting take on the Garden of Eden. I also enjoyed the picture of God at the beginning. Well done!
Thanks for sharing it
09/19/06
Wondefully creative, loved the naming and personification of the other trees. yeggy
09/20/06
Masterfully written - I loved just about every bit of this - the narrative with Adam and Eve was quite good, but was the only part that didn't really "grab" me, so to speak. An exceptional piece. I enjoyed this so much!
I enjoyed reading this. Blessings!
09/20/06
Beautiful take on the fall. Loved it!. One sentence read a little rough - the sentence that starts "All, but three, one has a single...". You might want to change the punctuation - take out the comma after "all" and add a colon or a dash after "three" maybe? Other than that minor thing, great job!
09/21/06
This was truly beautiful. And awful (the crucifixion). It's extremely well written.