The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/09/06
I'm still pondering over this story. First paragraph should be "worse", not worst. Alex wore a dress, thus I had to change my thoughts mid-story...to girl not boy. Then the ending? What happened? The reader is left dangling. What was she punished for? So many unanswered questions, and yet the story intrigued me enough to continue. Still pondering as to my thoughts, however; thank you for a very "interesting" (?) read.
Your subject matter of your story is, sadly, too realistic. I was distracted by your change of tenses, back and forth from present to past tense. The ending left me unsettled. While I don't believe that writing has to have a happy ending, because real life often does not, there should be a message. I'm not sure that I understand what the message of this piece is. You've tackled a difficult subject, though, and kudos for being willing to write about it.
09/10/06
Though I don't particularly like reading heavy things like this, it was very descriptive. I felt for her pain.