The Official Writing Challenge
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09/08/06
You say this is true? Oh, that must have been beyond frighening. My Amanda is 13. I could just see her in this situation. I'm so glad everything worked out. The only thing I might change is that the dramatic part, where Henrietta fell in, rushed by as fast as the river. Maybe a little more time to take that in. Other than that, I wanted to go to the river too!!!!
09/08/06
We went camping once with our best friends and their little four year old got up early and walked into the Colorado River. I just happened to wake up and see her floating down the river. Let me tell you it is beyond frightening. She was saved, but I have never forgotten it. Your story reminded me of this and of God's faithfulness.

Wonderful dialog and such a great story. Always best to follow instructions. Lovely job!!!
09/10/06
Good job--great characters and dialog, exciting action. I'm thinking about the last two paragraphs--the last one might be extraneous, and the next-to-last one summarizes a lot of action in just one paragraph. What would it be like if you ended with "God heard?" Or then switched to a brief scene back at safety? Oh, and I really, really like your title...it's the kind of title that really grabs a reader.
09/10/06
Very well written, I felt like I was there on the banks watching the scene unfold.
09/10/06
We knew one of them would fall in, but I agree that it all happened very quickly. I can't imagine taking time to take off my shoes! I'm glad she was rescued.
09/10/06
Nice job of characterization and description - I agree with Jan that that second to last paragraph is pretty jam packed, and that the final one is probably not necessary, but the story is wonderfully and amazingly well-told. Great job, Rita!
09/10/06
Rita. No vacation is complete without a good read. I'm glad I found your story. Very, very good job!! I've had some close calls with rivers too. I always like reading your entries. God bless.
09/11/06
Very well told. I was captivated by the story and very relieved at the end. Thanks for sharing this story.
09/11/06
I really enjoyed the characterization. You really captured the eargerness and selfish "Now,-I-can't-wait" attitude of Henrietta. Good job!
09/13/06
A very realistic telling of how accidents happen. Like the river, this is a fast moving story. I love it when Charlotte tells the man to leave his shoes on. Good job!