The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/09/06
And...? This reader is waiting for an ending. Am I missing something? I guess I'm not getting it this first time around. The house floating? The sermon? The elevator not working? The river flows to the sea? The point, the message...I'm sorry, it's not sinking in.
09/09/06
This story has potential but a few confusing loose ends. I wonder why he thought the preacher was naive for thinking God talked to him when he himself had gotten up from sleep and left the house because "God" talked to him.
I liked your first paragraph, it hooked me in. I did feel like there were too many scattered thoughts going on in Ted's dialogue. It would have helped to focus on one central point and develop it within his thoughts. I think that would have clarified the ending.