The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
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I love the content of your poem, deep with meaning. But one suggestion: if you're writing in rhyme, you need to watch the meter and be consistent. It's like a song. Try reading aloud and singing the words and you'll know what I mean.
09/08/06
One thing I noticed: "...amoung the rapids, as I weekly pray..." - should read 'weakly'. Good message.
09/08/06
Rhythm and rhyme it doesn't have, but some of the thoughts are very good. Verse 3, first line needs a little help with "calm"...but nice ideas throughout. Thanks.