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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: River (08/31/06)

TITLE: The River (i)
By Jamie glaser
09/04/06


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verse 1-
The waters are calm
all is right today
a smile upon my face
as I kneel down to pray.
I sigh, warm in Your embrace
silence and serenity
overtakes this place.

CHORUS-
No matter where the river goes
I shall always seek
the presence of my Lord and God
an listen to Him speak
even if the rivers wild
and the storm tears up the tides
I will hide myself in Jesus
it will be alright.

Verse 2-
Today, everything seems wrong
My Lord, its so hard to be strong
Oh, Father, where are you in this mess?
I need Your love and gentleness.
So I'll search, but I can barely see
I need my Master here with me
So dear Lord, may I find you today
amoung the rapids, as I weekly pray.

Verse 3-
The storm has finally calm down
Praise God, my spirit did not drown
You were near, and You took my hand
and You lead me to drier land.
I know a tide will come one day
and try to take my peace away
But I know, no matter what I face
I'm safe in Your embrace
So let the river flow
some days fast and some days slow
I'll hold onto Jesus no matter where it goes!


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Member Comments
Member Date
Dolores Stohler09/08/06
I love the content of your poem, deep with meaning. But one suggestion: if you're writing in rhyme, you need to watch the meter and be consistent. It's like a song. Try reading aloud and singing the words and you'll know what I mean.
Donna Haug09/08/06
One thing I noticed: "...amoung the rapids, as I weekly pray..." - should read 'weakly'. Good message.
Marilyn Schnepp 09/08/06
Rhythm and rhyme it doesn't have, but some of the thoughts are very good. Verse 3, first line needs a little help with "calm"...but nice ideas throughout. Thanks.