Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: River (08/31/06)

TITLE: River of Undying Love
By
08/31/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Flowing over bed rocks and stones
Rippling past the banks of life
Came a river from the throne room
Sent just for me without price.

A river of His undying love
Kissed with simple beauty
A flood of total mercy
Of how much He loves you and me.

This river - so pure and holy
Sent for His awaiting bride.
Blood and water came out from Him
Flowing from His riven side.

Crystal clear with not one impurity
Is this river of glass in clarity
Where He lives and where He dwells
And where Iíll be eventually.

Healing trees on either side.
Hold leaves for my prosperity:
Fruits of good and my healing cure
Was made for all that bruised me.

There is no fear in this river here,
For from the Holy One it flows
The Lamb is He from whence it came
And back to Him is where it goes.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 671 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Donna Haug09/07/06
I liked the picture of a river of love. You have some beautiful thoughts in this poem. I felt it could have flowed a little smoother, but I still enjoyed reading it.
geoff anderson09/07/06
Lovely touches in your poem and a few I'm not so sure about:
Verse1: Great second line. Third line swooshes me straight into Revelation, always a nice feeling! But I'm not sure about a river not having a price (though I know what you meant of course.)
Verse 2: Great lines1&2. Ending Line4 without 'you and' would be better rhythm. Maybe 'us' instead of 'you and me'?
Verse3: I like the link between the Revelation river and the river out of Jesus's side, to remind us of the sacrifice it took to make paradise blossom.
V4: Again the first two lines are very good - I wonder why they tend to be your best lines? ('no' instead of 'not one' would be better rhythm)
Lines3&4 are weak. 'where he dwells' is simply repeating 'where he lives' and the implication is that Jesus lives in the river.
V5: 'The Tree of Life' instead of 'healing trees' would avoid the repeat of 'healing'and it would make the connection that John makes with Eden. This time it's V3&4 that shine out with uplifting thoughts and a good rhythm.
V6: Again an excellent opening couplet. The rhythm of the last line is better without 'is where'. I'm not sure of the scriptural reference, with the river going back to Jesus.
To sum up: the concept was good, taking the river in Revelation, especially linking it to the river on the Cross, and there are some lovely opening couplets to the verses. The whole is suffused in a peace which is occasionally broken by loss of rhythm.
Birdie Courtright09/11/06
Beautiful precious thoughts. I'm not one to review poetry because i'm not a poet myself, but I love your imagery.
Phyllis Inniss 09/12/06
I too liked the imagery in the poem, all pointing to the river of His undying love.