The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
What I like - great dialogue and I liked how you told the story in a story. I could feel the woman's fears.
What I might change - there was a tense change, I think where you said the woman reads the story should have been past tense. The ending could maybe be a bit stronger I thought but overall - very smooth writing.
Your first two paragraphs painted a very clear picture of the situation, and your story overall was a good reminder of Godís care for us in seemingly impossible situations. My only suggestion is to provide more of a surprise ending Ė an unusual and unexpected way that God answered her prayers. I think that would leave more of a lasting impression. Good job!
Yes, the ending could have been stronger, but I've been in this same situation while I was a student, and having someone come to the door, out of the blue, with a box of groceries, is a big enough surprise for me! Just a little fine tuning is all this needs to give that miracle its final touch-up. Good work.
A beautiful, beautiful story - and nicely written. Short on "melody" Topic, but very enjoyable and a delightful and encouraging read.