The Official Writing Challenge
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I love this sentence, “No longer would he be afraid, this soldier of the city, for he knew he did not fight alone.” Beautiful! I would suggest a brief explanation of things like the word, “keloid.” I have no idea what that is, and knowing would add to my understanding. All around this was a beautifully written piece that enabled me to clearly visualize things. Good job!
08/31/06
A keloid for others who may not know is a type of scar, an almost overgrowth of scar tissue, if I remember right.

This is very well written, and held my attention throughout. I liked how you used melody and other synonyms. i.e. the melody of the city. Very touching. A young prayer warrior amidst the hard city living. Great idea and creativity!
09/02/06
Wow - well done, riveting, and reads like you were there. Good job.
09/04/06
This is very real, urgent, "you are there" writing. A satisfying read, you paint endearing characters as well.