The Official Writing Challenge
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08/31/06
This was very interesting. Clara is an engaging character. Somehow I feel that this is just the beginning for her. I'd like to know what happens next!
08/31/06
More! More! I want to find out more about Clara and her family. The last sentence left me wondering about this family's new life in America.

As always you do a wonderful job of setting the scene. I love your descriptions of time and place.

My favorite line: Languages seemed to vary like the colors of the rainbow in this new world.

FYI: I think loose should be lose in the second paragraph.

Great story! Is there a sequel? :-)
I would love to see what happens next! I hope that you use this as a springboard to a novella as you have piqued my interest in these characters. I like the description of the languages being like the rainbow; I am intrigued by the tradition of using a deceased child's name for a newborn; I hunger for more.
Awesome work!
08/31/06
This is such a tender piece, all reflections of a mother caught up in such a massive transition in a person's life. From our vantage point in another time and place, I wonder if we can even imagine the heart-wrenching experience this must have been. With your writing, we have a chance, at least, of glimpsing the immigrant experience.

The picture that appealed to me most: "The wee babe's tiny arm escaped the blanket and stretched over her head with a great yawn."
Thanks--good job, great reading!
09/03/06
A nicely told story of those who sacrificed much to come to America. Especially liked the line of "not having to worry about a tax collector"...chuckle, chuckle: they hadn't heard of IRS yet. Well written.
09/05/06
I love this heartwarming tale that weaves struggle and hope. Great scene setting and effortless writing. Great job. :)
I really enjoyed your setting and tone of your story. I loved the names you chose too, and not just because you used two of my sons' names. :)

One thing though, "reappeared once again" I think this should just be 'appeared once again'.

This does leave the reader wanting to hear more about their new life, so job well done. :)
09/05/06
As others have said, this needs a sequel! And maybe a prequel too, so we know what happened to Anna.
09/05/06
This is just like a snapshot--very well done!
09/06/06
Very interesting! I love reading of this era. And you've written it very well! Good job!
I really enjoyed this -- and I agree with others -- it needs a sequel. We want more! :)
09/07/06
Just lovely! Great description - I felt like i was right there! And, not to be repetitive - but PLEASE give us more!!
10/29/06
Valora, I've just re-visited this lovely story, and I'm going to use it on the Front Page Showcase for the week of November 27. Look for it on Faith Writers' Home Page.

Have you thought about expanding this story yet?
10/29/06
I enjoy reading about this time period and I appreciated the emotion in this piece. Very nice.
Whoo hoo! Congrats on the showcase. This story deserves it. :-)
11/28/06
This is an excellent beginning to what should be novel!! I can't wait to hear more about the journey. Well done!!!
12/02/06
I agree with the other reviewers, touching and a most interesting read whetting the appeetite for more.