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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Melody (08/24/06)

TITLE: Palatial Discord
By Jan Ross
08/26/06


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The days were dark and oppressive.
Evil loomed around every corner.
Hatred filled the corridors.
Demonized.
Oppressed.
Contemptuous.
Envious.

The weightiness of darkness quenched the light.
Dimmed windows’ light filtered.
Towering walls hewn from rock.
Sturdy.
Immovable.
Ominous.
Impervious.

Coldness overwhelmed the summer heat.
Dampness pierced the bones.
Drops of sweat sent shivers through the palace.
Fear.
Danger.
Despair.
Apprehension.

Boisterous silence, vehement peace, constrained freedom.
Antagonistic accord, defiant respect, corrupt righteousness.

“Summon my armor-bearer … bring him NOW!”

Crazed lucidity, hysterical composure, impetuous calm.
Incoherent logic, deranged sanity, unbalanced stability.

Honor demanded from all, great and small.
Subjects bowed or reaped fierce rage.
Desperate anguish compelled urgent command.
Agitated.
Distraught.
Feverish.
Hysterical.

Unexplained anger filled the room.
A shepherd-king sorely despised.
Unholy words spewed from hate-filled heart.
Hostility.
Bitterness.
Cursing.
Scorn.

Hushed sound of shuffling feet.
Disturbed whispers of the king’s court.
Jealousy evoked unnatural displeasure.
Abnormal.
Bizarre.
Deviant.
Perverted.

Dissatisfied fulfillment, libelous kindness, cynical optimism.
Hateful benevolence, skeptical trust, envious contentment.

“I charge you … play for me your harp! Sing!”

Distressful peace, irritable composure, aggressive complacency.
Hostile tranquility, violent peace, discomforted serenity.

Harp’s sacred melody provoked the king’s rage.
Evil spirit forcefully commanded his soul.
Hellish assault ensued … javelin hurled.
Aggression.
Attack.
Assail.
Onslaught.

Dissonance gave way to consonance.
Discord gave way to accord.
Disharmony gave way to harmony.
Assent.
Unison.
Melodious.
Freedom.

Armor-bearer’s anointed psalm composed.
King’s heart liberated to freedom.
Weight of glorious praise transformed palatial tone.
Uncorrupt.
Hallowed.
Sacred.
Holy.

Heavenly strain, rapturous melody, celestial prose.
Consecrated theme, sacred etude, Davidic psalm.

In the midst of evil, confusion, and danger,
“David strengthened himself in Adonai his God.”

“I will praise you with a lyre
For your faithfulness, Adonai;
I will sing praises to you with a lute,
Holy One of Isra’el.
My lips will shout for joy;
I will sing your praise
Because you have redeemed me.
All day long my tongue
Will speak of your righteousness.
For those who are seeking to harm me
Will be put to shame and disgraced.”






___________
1 Samuel 30:6 (CBJ)
Psalm 71:22-24 (CJB)


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This article has been read 1429 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Brenda Craig08/31/06
As I read this I could see the clash between good and evil, light and dark. The stark difference and the transference from one to the other.

The sound of worship (sound being another form of light) transformed the entire situation. Your strong descriptive words demonstrated this contrast with force. I could feel the onslaught and the relief.

DARKNESS
Distressful peace, irritable composure, aggressive complacency.
Hostile tranquility, violent peace, discomforted serenity.

LIGHT
Dissonance gave way to consonance.
Discord gave way to accord.
Disharmony gave way to harmony.
Assent.
Unison.
Melodious.
Freedom.
Heavenly strain, rapturous melody, celestial prose.
Consecrated theme, sacred etude, Davidic psalm.

Excellent!!! Long comment but this is worth it.
Rita Garcia08/31/06
You have brought one of my favorite Psalms alive. I love the contrast between light and darkness, His light always overcomes the darkness. I used this for my meditation this evening, thank you!
Joanne Sher 09/02/06
This is SO powerful. Your images are strong, and every word is powerfully presented. Very raw and meaningful. Excellent!
Joanne Malley09/05/06
Very passionate writing and boldly penned. Great job! :)
Ann Grover09/05/06
Beautiful contrast... light, dark, good, evil. Lyrical. Good writing.
Jan Ackerson 09/05/06
I LOVE the way your oxymorons (discord) resolve into serenity (harmony). This is more than masterful, and my favorite this week. Awesome.
Debbie Sickler09/05/06
Every word obviously chosen with such care. Powerful. Beautiful. Thought provoking. Excellent.
Shari Armstrong 09/05/06
VERY well done - I loved the affectiveness of the single word lines.
Sharlyn Guthrie09/05/06
Well done and beautiful!
Lynda Lee Schab 09/06/06
Oooh - I liked this. Your choice of words and phrasing chilled me - very realistic writing. Clever and creative take on "Melody." Nicely done.
Rebecca Livermore09/06/06
Powerful choice of words. It's obvious this took a lot of thought and effort. Well done!
Jeffrey Snell09/06/06
Creative use of apparent antonyms to generate that tangible conflict Saul experienced. I felt smothered a couple of times in the adjectives, but overall the torn sensation came through.
Pamela Rosario09/06/06
Wow!
Donna Emery09/06/06
Each word made a brick in a wall of the story. I could feel the tension in this conflict. What a great job!
Virginia Gorg09/06/06
This is so well done - the way you take the reader from evil to good. You are an excellent writer and an inspiration to aspiring authors (like me). :)
david grant09/07/06
I give your thesarus a DAVEY for its worn pages. I hoped you retired the thing after you wrote this piece.