The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 812 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/31/06
I liked this missionary trip report. It gave a very good insight into your feelings at this difficult time, and the healing power of worshiping God through music.
09/02/06
For greater impact, shorten some of those extra-long sentences. Nice job.
09/07/06
I would make my last paragraph the first, since it is the most likely to draw me in to the story.
09/08/06
This has a feel to it of "more" to tell. I would recommend using this as an outline and expanding it with additional detailed paragraphs. For instance, I'd love to hear one of your characters describing the incident with the injured man whose life was miraculously restored.

I appreciate your message, Kevin, and I appreciate your generosity in "finding" my entries and leaving welcome comments for me, as well. God bless you!
09/14/06
Wow - what a lot of stories you must have after experiences like this!

Your title was really catchy - well done.

The description of the heat bearing down on you was good - it put me in the picture. I wonder if you could do even more with describing the sights, sounds, smells etc of the setting.

Thanks for your encouraging comments - you're a great comment-er. Be blessed and a blessing!
I agree with Suzanne! I know I'm late commenting on this one, but I know you must have MANY stories if this is from your own experience. I do love the title too!