The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/25/06
This first part of this is very strong--appealing to several senses and really establishing both the scene and Simon's personality in a vivid way. I felt that the last third slipped a bit into "narration mode." But I loved, loved your conclusion and Simon's changed heart. Wonderful.
I liked the ending - how he "held" THE cross and "received" one of his own. :-)
08/28/06
Pretty graphic presentation of this Bible story.