The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/25/06
Good job, dialog true to the ages of the girls, and a wise mother to advise them to keep their eyes on the cross.
08/25/06
What I like - I liked the content that they should keep their eyes on Jesus in times of difficulty. I liked that you made the mother's thoughts real.
What I might change - I'm not so sure about how they talked with each other...more towards the end. Can't quite put my finger on it but I might give a little more show there of emotions withing the dialogue or around it. :)