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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Cross (as in the Cross of Christ) (08/17/06)

TITLE: Her Last Thoughts
By Angela Linton


The stars were displayed across the sky and the moon was showing half its face. The breeze had a slight chill in its touch and I was laying down on the roof of a house. Inside the house a party was in full swing. It was my sister's idea for me to be at the party. This was her way of trying to cheer me up. The second anniversary of our mother's death was two days away and sadness was over taking me. Last year for nearly two weeks, I locked myself in my bedroom and only came out for food and baths. My sister, seeing that I was headed in that direction was dragging me to parties, malls, beaches and anywhere she could think of to keep my undiagnosed depression at bay. Still, at times when I am left alone, or I am able to sneak off to be by myself, it is hard for me to fight it off.
"Hey," someone said, dragging me away from my thoughts.
"Hey" I replied, after pulling myself into a sitting position.
"Too noisy in there?" The tall girl asked, sitting next to me.
"It's okay" I said, shrugging.
"Well, it's a bit noisy for me, but this is the only party that my brother is allowed to have or even attend for the summer so....."
"Oh, so you live here, I hope you don't mind me being up here."
"No, no, it's expected so don't be too surprised if you get more company."
"Oh," I said, and we both lapped into silence, until she began to hum a song.
At first I thought she was humming to the song in the house, but as my mother last days in hospital rush through my mind tears filled my eyes and propelled down my cheeks. I tried to stop them, but my efforts only caused them to increase.
"Are you alright?" My companion asked.
"What..." I began, "what is the name of the song you were humming?"
She told me the name.
"I've heard my Mom humming that song once." I said.
"Oh, but she doesn't do it any more?"
"No... she died, almost two years ago."
"I'm sorry." She said.
"Me too."
"Shortly before she died in hospital," I continued, after a pause "she was humming it. I tried to find the words to it, but so far nothing, and here you are humming it."
My tears had stop falling and the gently breeze was helping to dry my checks.
"You are not dying too are you?" I asked, looking at her face in the dark.
"No, no," she replied, smiling slightly.
"Do you know the words to the song, can you sing it for me. I've always wanted to know what she was thinking in those last few minutes."
"Well, I've only just learnt it myself, so I don't quite know all the words to it as yet, but I can summaries it a bit for you."
"Yes, please." I answered eagerly
"Well, it is saying to let everyone know the awesome news that Jesus died upon a cross. We were sinners and we were lost and that's why He died upon the cross. He did no sin, He did no wrong and His love for us was very strong. It says to look at Him upon the cross and see His precious blood. That blood has paid the price for us, to set us free from death. Listen it continues, as Jesus cry, "It is finish", that is, it is done. So while there is still time to come, come to Him and be washed, be washed in that precious blood that He has shed upon the cross."
Fresh tears started to flow as I whispered,
"Thank you, thank you."
The music in the house continued to play, as the stranger and I sat there lost in our own world.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Rhonda Clark08/25/06
I liked your dialog. It flowed nicely. You might want to work on your spacing.
terri tiffany08/25/06
What I like - I like the conversation between the two - it sounds real. I like the use of the song too.
What I might change - besides spacing for easier reading, you need to watch your tenses- they should be past tense in some places, missed a few words here and there and there were a few run ons. If you polish those areas up, this will present so much better!