The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/25/06
The paragraph that begins "It is true..." has some wonderful concepts! Good job.
08/25/06
What I like - I liked when Jesus says Today is that glorious day. That was really a good line. I liked your writing and I thought the opening paragraph was good.
What I might change - I'm not totally convinced about the final line - it left me hanging - did he accept or didn't he? Maybe that feeling is what you wanted the reader to have? If it is - you did a great job!:)
08/26/06
And I thought that last line was terrific! And this line: "Shadows only exist if there is a light to cast them" was priceless. Good work.
08/27/06
Having a very short attention span (my fault really), I got bogged down midway through - wanting to skip through all the non-incidentals to get to the meat of the story. However, when I finally did get to the main course...I found a masterful story written extremly well. Kudos.